Tuesday, March 08, 2011


Are we imagining it, or is Omaha's best-known airhead, John Knicely, burning through a lot of vacation days lately? 

Since last summer, it seems that, if it's not a sweeps period, J-Pa is nowhere to be found on Channel Sux. Does he know something we don't? (It's not as if he could be exhausted from all the mental energy he puts into his work.)

On the surface, his frequent absences are strikingly (and tantalizingly) reminiscent of the way turkey-necked former anchor Pat Persaud mowed through her vacation time in the months leading up to her "retirement" back in 2005.

With the way SuxNews has been shedding employees of late, ya gotta wonder. And hope.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Daily Double

Every time we think we'll sit down and write about some of the blunders at other stations, SuxNews manages to push its competitors aside to display just how comprehensive its incompetence is.

This morning, morning monkey Jethro Siedlecki and his co-workers were able to screw up the same word two different ways!

This episode occurred during a story about recent cases of whooping cough, also known as pertussis.

Not only was the on-screen spelling mangled ("pertussus"); Thiedlecki added his own special touch by pronouncing it "purr-TOOSE-us" (for clarity, we're pretending there was no lithp). (Hear the correct pronunciation here.)

To make sure we weren't being overly critical, we checked with a medical professional who's been in the profession 27 years; she confirmed Jimmy's idiocy, saying that she has never heard anyone pronounce it as he did.

So, hang on, Channel 3rd. Maybe we'll get to you tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011


• Well, it was only a matter of time until SuxNews morning anchor Malorie "Ellie May" Maddox followed in the footsteps of former anchorcrone Pat Persaud and started using her baby to further her career. Tuesday's 10 p.m. SuxCast featured a report from "backpack journalist" LeAnn Moorman, who visited Maltard and her family at home. Maltard sounded like any other brain-dead former cheerleader as she gushed about how much she's enjoying "meather-HID."

• The tradition of hype about anchorbabies at SuxNews is well-established; anchors like Maltard and Queen Pat appear be immune to shame as they allow the station to hype their kids' births as if they were part of the Shrine Circus.

But such orgies are hardly obligatory. Both current evening anchor Tracy Madden and recently dismissed weekend anchor Jaime McCutcheon avoided turning their kids into props. Yes, they allowed a picture or two, but stopped short of letting the station take over the house and run never-ending promos about their big events. The same goes for Channel 7's Brandi Petersen, whose recent baby delivery was mentioned but hardly given the hoopla accorded baby Maltard.

• The idiotic anchorbaby stories are a favorite at Channel Sux. They're likely something news director Amy Adams heard at some convention or wherever it is that lazy news directors get their ideas. According to insiders at Sux, Adams is a big part of the reason for lousy morale and claptrap work there. Add her name to the long list of finalists in the pink-slip competition at 35th and Farnam. In fact, you may want to put it near the top.

• Finally, can anyone explain why SuxNews's Sunday morning blathercast featured a rotating list of school closings at the bottom of the screen?

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