Thursday, November 25, 2010

Overinflated

Channel Sux's self-styled New York "expert" and morning albatross anchor Jimmy Thiedlecki tried to impress viewers Thursday morning with references to the giant balloons in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade traveling down Fifth Avenue, which would be swell but for the fact that, as shown on the map below, the parade route does not include any part of Fifth Avenue. Nice try, Gomer!


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Turkey Sh*t

Breaking news: along with national news networks, all three locally-operated TV news stations are reporting today that many, many people are traveling for the Thanksgiving holiday. Almost all have confirmed this story by sending reporters to the airport.

On a related note, these same outlets have learned that some of those flying today are uncomfortable with the controversial body-scan technology being used by the TSA. Others are okay with it because they think it's worth the hassle if it keeps them safe.

All outlets seem poised to keep viewers abreast of any new developments in this situation for the next several days. Or until something else happens, like volunteers serving Thanksgiving dinner to the underprivileged. But what are the odds of both things occurring on the same weekend?

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Big

According to Mr. Knice-rug, Planters tonight introduces "Mr. Penis"!


video

That guy is the incompetent gift that just keeps on giving.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Letter

We found the following letter on our way to work this morning. Unfortunately, the bottom half was torn off, but it seems worth reprinting here.
Dear Brian Williams,
This morning I was watching my local NBC affiliate's morning "news" program and the two people who sit at the anchor desk were discussing Keith Olberman, that guy your company suspended for making campaign contributions.
Anyway, Jimmy, the male anchor (who has a really annoying lisp, by the way) was telling the stupid blond cheerleader (who has trouble pronouncing words properly) that if you were ever to do something as dastardly as what Mr. Olberman did, Jimmy would throw his scripts in the air and walk out, meaning (I think) that he'd quit being on TV. This gave me a really good idea for improving our local station, and I'm hoping you can help.
And that's where it cut off. What do you suppose the "good idea" was?

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Crawling

Maybe this is a sign we've had the TV on too much, but it seems like this must be Have a Dolt Run the Chyron Day at local TV stations. The bungled attempt below, from KETV, ran during a story about the governor announcing he won't seek Ben Nelson's U.S. Senate seat in two years. Are TV keyboards harder to use than regular keyboards?

Never-ending

As an alert reader pointed out in a recent comment, we all know Channel Sux is riddled with incompetence, but it's still fun to watch, just to see how—and how often—they'll prove it each day. Here's one from just a few minutes ago, which we'll put in the file marked "Speling."

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Fall Back

• If you happened to be up at 4:43 on Monday morning, as Mrs. Brockman was, you already knew what KETV started mentioning in its promos later in the day. Its morning program now starts at 4:30 a.m., meaning John Oakey and Nichole Berlie get to tack 30 minutes onto what is far and away the best option for early risers seeking local news.

• Speaking of same, the program's regular weatherguesser, Chuck McWilliams, is leaving the station at the end of the month to join the Army Corps of Engineers. Replacing him will be KPTM refugee Tyson Pearsall, who spent time at the station prior to becoming chief (only?) guesser at Fox42. McWilliams will be missed, and Pearsall will be an adequate replacement, but it would've been nice for the station to have rescued the pleasant, capable Caitlin Roth from the WOWT excrement factory.
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