Monday, October 25, 2010

Math

If, like us, you've come to despise Mike Kelly's worthless column in the local paper, then you probably really hated Saturday's installment, which highlighted one of his more inane fetishes—what he calls "cool numbers."

Apparently, he found some guy who "was born on 10/10/55 and turned 55 on 10/10/10." Isn't it amazing?!

Let's add Kelly to the list of tired local hacks who need to go away— a list that already includes John Knicely, Jim Flowers, Dave Webber, Anne Boyle, and both Lee Terrys.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Glazed

On Thursday's 5 p.m. train wreck, WOWT featured one of its usual canned Consumer Reports features, voiced over by nasally know-nothing Maltard Maddox. This installment compared caloric content in breakfast items offered by several fast-food chains.The chains featured were McDonald's, Starbucks, and Dunkin' Donuts.

Aside from the usual annoyances created by Maltard's grating voice, bizarre pronunciations, and lack of inflection, the story itself wasn't terrible. What we wonder is whether Maltard didn't realize the nearest Dunkin' Donuts is 135 miles away,  or if she knew and was just too lazy to edit out references to a chain that has no presence in this market.

Just as troubling is the  question of what will happen when Maltard—who's at least five months pregnant—goes on maternity leave. Will Lithpy Jimmy Thiedlecki fly tholo, or will the SuxNews braintrust plant mousy monotone Ann McIntire or droning dimwit Nadia Singh at the desk? McIntire always sounds as if she's delivering a report for her middle school social studies class, and Singh has shown herself to be a disaster as the morning show's field reporter.

However the situation is handled, we're confident that the station will be able to make the worst of it.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Bottomless

An alert reader sends us this alleged SuxNews tweet from a few days ago . . .



@WOWTweather: A cold front is just to our west. As it crosses the winds will shit to the northwest. We warm to near 76º today.






Monday, October 18, 2010

Nonsense

As ridiculous as this news story is, those who have watched SuxNews with any regularity know that the "intellectually disabled" (how's that for a euphemism?) have been graduating from colleges for years.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Embarrassment

Remember how, when he was first trying to get himself elected to Congress, Lee Terry promised to term-limit himself and only serve eight years? Why don't we hear more about that as he runs for his eighth term?

Anyway, here's what we see every time we look at one of his TV ads:















Eerie, isn't it? Hearing him speak causes roughly the same reaction.
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