Friday, October 30, 2009

Brace

As bad as SuxNews programs have been all week, we may look back on them fondly after the newscasts this evening. If, as has been the case the past two weeks, the embarrassingly under-qualified Nadia Singh is anchoring, we could be in for a real treat.

Even before the big switch, Singh's Friday 'casts were riddled with miscues and dead air. Add all the new "software problems" that have plagued the station this week, and it is not unthinkable that Channel Sux could air entire blocks of totally incoherent fumbling during every scheduled news-hole.

DVR it if you can. You'll be glad you did.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Wild

Maltard Maddox's hard-hitting "High School Cribs" segment Thursday morning featured Millard West High School.

Of course, it wasn't cued up at the scheduled time. Maltard assured viewers that they could just watch it on the "web-channel."

The Suxers ended up running the piece several minutes later, and boy are we glad they did. Otherwise, how would we have learned that Millard West has, according to the principal there, "about four" pep rallies per year?

Riveting. Is the inanity of this weekly segment also the result of a software glitch?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Listen

Highlights from Wednesday's 10 p.m. SuxNews televised rehearsal:

• Bad audio was the theme of this broadcast. There was a persistent scratchy sound, particularly when J-Pa Knice-rug and Merlyn Klaus were speaking. And for some reason, when they switched from Klaus's b-roll back to a shot of him standing next to the anchor desk, Klaus's mike dropped out and his voice was reduced to a faint echo.

• When Tracy Madden tried to intro Maltard Maddox's hard-hitting report on coupons, she was cut off mid-sentence.

• J-Pa contributed his trademark blunders. He struggled with the word "Caribbean" ("kuh-RIB-in," he said haltingly). And when Klaus finished his sports segment by noting that the Yankees were losing to the Phillies in the ninth inning, J-Pa responded that "our sources tell us they've now entered the ninth inning."

Perhaps J-Pa's whole career has been the result of software bugs.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Panic

This pitiful apology from SuxNews was brought to our attention by an alert reader.

Who implements a whole new system of any kind without testing it first?

Besides SuxNews, we mean.

Correction

The "Leno effect" may be secondary in the sinking of SuxNews in the ratings.

Monday night's HD debut was a disaster, plagued by even more technical incompetence than usual. As many commenters have pointed out, cameras were off-the-mark and on-the-move at all the wrong times, there was more dead air than could be found in a mausoleum, and Tracy Madden's head appeared to be a giant ball of light.

All this, combined with the usual incompetence of the talent at Sux, resulted in a newscast described by some alert readers as "unwatchable." The effort was every bit as bad as what might have been seen on KPTM for most of the past fifteen years, if not worse.

The sad, but not surprising, thing is that no one seemed to learn from the mistakes: this morning's "Daybreak" offering—a flub-fest, even on its best days—exhibited most of the same difficulties that were so visible last night.

If every employee at WOWT isn't embarrassed beyond belief, they should be.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Drop

Will a weak Jay Leno lead-in be the final straw that causes the collapse of the SuxNews 10 p.m. ratings?

This NY Post story certainly suggests that possibility.

November sweeps should be interesting. Even HD might not save the BigSux this time.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Repel

Breaking news just in to the SuxNews Daybreak newsroom: Nadia Singh's live reports while standing in the rain this morning suggest that blue eye shadow—when applied in heavy doses—is, indeed, waterproof.

Maybe Maltard Maddox can use this info for one of her nasally "consumer" reports.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Upgrade

An alert reader informs us that the work on the SuxNews set is being done in preparation for the station's plan to go HD with local programming in time for the November sweeps.

Seeing some of the SuxNews team do their jobs badly in HD may be more than most viewers can stomach. For instance, will we be able to see the spit fly out of Jimmy Thiedlecki's mouth as he lisps his way through the morning drivel? Or will the glue holding down J-Pa's toupée be visible? And don't even get us started on weatherguesser Seabiscuit Rich.

Stay tuned.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Fake

Why were the SuxNews anchors delivering their drivel from in front of a green screen on Tuesday?

Is their barely-a-year-old set being revamped already? Or did the bank repo it?

It's bad enough watching their mostly pretend anchors deliver a pretend newscast. Seeing them do it in front of a pretend set is more than we can handle.

Nose

Can someone please explain the surreal five-second promo on Channel 3rd that shows weatherguesser Ryan McPike standing out in a field squinting at the sky and looking as if he's trying to smell a storm?

Really? Is this the way he puts together his forecasts? Does someone think this makes him seem more credible? What the hell?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Sad

SuxNews has never looked quite as pathetic as it did during Friday's 4 p.m. newscast.

Among the problems...
• the debacle was anchored by morning fire-chaser Nadia Singh, who seems as ill-equipped for the task as anyone at the station;
• Singh showed up for work wearing a trowelful of blue eye shadow, an inappropriately short skirt, and a pair of dominatrix boots, all of which were on full display when she came out from behind the desk to conduct an interview from atop a barstool;
• newsboy Brian Latham's live report originated from what appeared to be a deserted newsroom;
• weatherguesser Andrea "Seabiscuit" Rich prattled idiotically about clouds, sun-glare, and instructions on what to do in various weather conditions;
• Rich wore a red skirt that looked more like a saddle-blanket; and
• audio for the broadcast cut in and out for the duration of what looked like a textbook example of how not to do a professional newscast.

In short, there was really nothing to distinguish this effort from what gets aired on the much-maligned KPTM.

This program offered a stark reminder of just how thoroughly Gray Television and its incompetent managers have run this station into the ground. How much worse it can get is anybody's guess at this point.

UPDATE: Channel Sux was all atwitter Sunday night and Monday morning about Rich running a race over the weekend. Doesn't the jockey deserve at least some of the credit?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Future

Holy smokes, get a load of this story, which reports on a Washington, D.C. station that plans to have its anchors operate their own teleprompters—with their feet—as they read the news.

Our favorite line:
Some at the station worry that such a roll-your-own system could increase the potential for on-camera blunders, as anchors fumble for the right spot in their scripts.
This should be a real treat for those of us who currently enjoy watching J-Pa Knice-rug struggle to make sense of his copy. (How many more blunders would he need to make for us to even notice a difference?) Imagine what a circus it will become if he tries to pedal a teleprompter at the same time!

Even better, how cool would it be to see Jimmy Thiedlecki and his little sidekick Maltard run the 'prompter as they preside over another pointless SuxOnline "Live-Chat"?

Gold, Jerry! Gold!

Monday, October 05, 2009

Spray

It only occurred to us this morning how comical it is to hear SuxNews morning boob Jimmy Thiedlecki say "Top Thickth Litht" (that's "Top Six List" for those of you who don't speak or read Thiedleckese).
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