On Channel 7, chief guesser Bill Randby switched calmly between the station's clearly superior radar and its several live cams. Particularly helpful were shots from the 88th and I-80 unit, one at 90th and Dodge, and, best of all, from atop the station's tower at 72nd and Crown Point. For several minutes, Randby and John Campbell monitored a low-hanging cloud that appeared to be trying to organize itself into a funnel. Long after the storm had passed over the city, Randby started showing hail pictures—something that didn't seem particularly necessary.
Meanwhile, over at the "Weather Authority," chief Ejacucaster Jim Flowers spent most of his time either prattling excitedly about radar images or admitting that he couldn't tell much about a potential tornado based on a still photo sent in by a viewer. Every now and then, want-wit anchordolt John J-Tard Knicely would announce some version of the following:
"I just spoke with someone in ____ (Gretna/Blair/Waverly/Pisgah) and it was ____ (raining/hailing/ not doing much) and the sirens were (on earlier/going off now/hadn't sounded), and that was just ____ (seconds/minutes) ago."
We can only guess that upon hearing a town mentioned, J-Tard just starts dialing numbers from its phone book and hoping that "someone" will answer.
Other "assets" in the BigSux arsenal:
--A dashboard "Live Webcam" shot from Gary Smollen as he drove down a road in Cass County, where nothing had happened in at least 45 minutes;
--MalTard Maddox yammering about the "hell" she had witnessed out near Elkhorn, which sounded ominous until it became apparent that she was trying to say "hail";
--And there were assistant ejacucaster Andrea Rich and Tracy Madden, frantically reading what viewers were pecking out on the "SixOnline Live" chatroom. ("Viewers are reporting branches falling!" we heard more than once.)
--At 6:08, we were treated to a gallery of photos sent in by SuxNews viewers of hail "capable of damaging what-have-you."
Oh no! Anything but damaged what-have-you!