Monday, March 30, 2009

Mal-Tard Word of the Day

DIFF-urnt: not the same (example: "I like to find a diffurnt word to mangle every day.")

12 comments:

Helio said...

I think we've all heard enough of this...
"ya-da ya-da stick a fork in it ya-da ya-da...ha-ha...
from the crew @ channel 6
AARRGH!...GIVE US A BREAK!

It's Raining In Spain said...

I can understand the perspective of stick a fork in it, but Mallorie's Malaprops ARE the gift that keeps on giving.
If you want to change your focus, may I suggest Marla Rabe? Marla has a confident, friendly persona. Unfortunately, she has a great voice for mime.

Operationseng said...

"Stick a fork in it..." Hmmmmmmm...Jim Flowers has been saying a lot of that as of late...coincidence...?

Helio said...

That's right - he says it, then he giggles. Then they all giggle.
Maybe somethings up with all the giggling.
We can only hope.

Lois-Carmen said...

Are you kidding me? Can't believe you are still hung up on this same old crap when you have soooo much other REAL material to work with in this God-forsaken Sun-Glare-Capital-of-the-World wasteland. Come on, man...how on earth did Maniko Barthelemy ever escape your wrath? Her robotic delivery was reminiscent of the public service announcements done by the Reno police department on Reno 911. Was she freaking being held hostage or what? And how about Rusty Lord? Oh My God. How many times can one say "tempitcher" in 30 seconds? Somebody hand me a dramamine, we're always "sitting," or "heading towardS" or "moving through." Who knew Omaha was so...On The Move?! Does anyone ever critique these people?

Need other new topics? OK, how about marble-mouth John Chapman? No? Let's talk about Mike McKnight's wardrobe. Ouch, hit a little too close to home there, sorry. Then what about the forehead oil slicks and splotchy skin so lovingly showcased by the high-tech studio's beacon lighting? Still not enough? Fine, then let's talk about Tracy Madden's dramatic trailing-off-at-the-end-of-each-paragraph effect or the 384-point headlines that somebody decided to superimpose over their shoulders (diagonally no less!) and STILL thinks it is OK to air.

Certainly you can do better than slamming forecasts or pointing out man-hands that nobody can do anything about. If you're going to make it personal, at least make it something that can easily be fixed with bleaching like Tracy's teeth. C'mon, the Omaha TV dial is your oyster, if you're going to complain, at least make it something real.

Kind regards,
Lois-Carmen Denominator

Ted Brockman said...

Forget the dramamine, Lois, sounds like you need a heavy-duty tranquilizer.

1) Don't know where you've been, but we've been hammering at Channel Sux on a variety of fronts for a long time now.

2) Picking at Jumpy Jim's Winter Forecast is fair game. Anyone pompous enough to think he can tell what kind of winter we're going to have is full of shit.

3) Rusty Lord is using the same clap-trap jargon every other weatherguesser on the planet uses to kill time; he's no better or worse than most of the rest of 'em.

4) The bottom line is that at SuxNews, just about everything blows. Their biggest problem is talent, of which there is little. When J-Pa, Thiedlecki, and Mal-Tard are the people they hold up as their public face, you know they're desperate. We aim our ire at the ones they stick in our faces most often.

Rick said...

You know, when it comes to the giggling, I saw an episode of House MD last night where giggling was the sign of a mental condition. Perhaps this should be explored. That or PSAS, Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. It's real, google it.

Helio said...

Let us not forget...
Travis "The Tool" Justice,
Devon "Lockjaw" Patton,
Farah "Fubar" Fazal,
and the Romper Room weather guesser on KMTV in the morning, Dean Wysocki.

Husker Mike said...

This blog has become a parody of it's former self. Ted 2.0 now spends his days playing back the entire two hour morning show, analyzing each word Maddox says and looking for a way to turn it into a malaprop.

Ted Brockman said...

Actually, it takes less than two minutes, no replays necessary.

Al said...

Funny stuff. Omaha television news has become a shell of its former self.

kev said...

Omaha has not had a decent weather man since Ron Girard left KPTm years ago.

You are visitor number