Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Arf

The crackerjack news team at WOWTard slapped together quite a series of stories for Tuesday night's 10 o'clock newscast.

Ann McIntyre reported on a man who tried to get a ball out his dog's gullet, only to be bitten by the dog. J-Pa Knicely even held up a ball to show us what the ball looked like. It was round. And yellow.

Then Mike McKnight used his sharply honed journalistic instincts to reveal that dangerous deer are lurking near the Platte River between Omaha and Lincoln. And they're going to kill us.

After a commercial break, J-Pa took up his post at the "Dot-Com Center" to prattle cluelessly about a link on the station's "Webchannel" about recalled refrigerators. They might kill us if the deer don't.

After some quick blather from Tracy Madden about a convenience store liquor license dispute that Channel Sux has done at least a half-dozen stories about, Cornpone Jimmy Thiedlecki shouted out a "Cone-Zthone" warning about road work being done between Sunset Avenue and Morningwood Lane or some-such remote location. Good thing he told us about that. We could've been killed.

Such is the news you get when you rely on the Big Sux.

15 comments:

Ted Brockman said...

Joe Swank:

Sorry for inadvertently posting your comment. Here is the original text:

You know this website USED to be a viable, entertaining site in its old form. Now unfortunately the personal vendetta (you can say you don't have one, but it is fairly obvious; perception = reality) has skewed this site so far it is ridiculous.KETV did the dog story too, but nary a word against them. As far as the deer. As one who lives in that direction who has had their livelihood affected by the deer I was interested in what may be done.

While I would agree that WOWT does need to make some changes (put the elder statesman Webber out to pasture as he has no idea what is going on & Andrea Rich stop telling me what I am going to do tomorrow just tell me the weather) Channel 7 isn't all roses - Matt Schick your act has long ago run thin and don't get me started on John Campbell.

so lets get it a little balanced as the credibility of the site is now zero.

Ted Brockman said...

Now, Joe...

I only noted the idiocy of the SuxNews stories because it was the first time I'd been able to stomach watching those nimrods in over a week. The stories in and of themselves aren't the problem so much as their delivery of them; every single one is sensationalized and presented as if we should all be cowering in our basements in fear.

Yeah, KETV does many of the same stories, but they generally put more competent personnel on to do them and there's little of the "sky is falling" approach, nor do they employ idiotic props like J-Pa's yellow ball.

While you may not care for Schick or Campbell, at least they approach their work with some degree of intelligence, unlike most of the Sux crowd, led by the likes of J-Pa, Webbs, and Thiedthaddle. (How about this morning's Maltardism: pronouncing "infinite" as "IN-fuh-night"?) Where do they get these bumblers, and more significantly, why do they keep them?

LankBadly said...

You didn't get let go from Channel Six, take a sabbatical from this blog, get hired on at KETV, and reappear again did you Ted?

Cogitor said...

John Knicely: A nice guy. Not a great reader by any stretch, certainly not a reporter. But a nice uy with a very smug smirk/smile. Doesn't necessarily qualify him to anchor, but that's another story.

Matt Schick on the other hand, is only marginally less irritating than JJ on the Pappas Tragedy, and the jury might still be out on that. What a smug turd. Beats the living hell out of Knicely's smug quotient. You can't grab the remote fast enough when Slick hits the airwaves. Jesus, he's awful.

Ted Brockman said...

Lank,

For the hundredth time, I do not work for any TV station anywhere, nor have I ever.

I'm continually amazed at this oft-repeated notion that only someone who has worked in TV could pick up on things or hate a particular station's product.

TV isn't some highly-specialized enterprise that only a priesthood of j-school grads can analyze and understand. Why this blog can't be the product of a non-media author is a mystery to me.

Ted Brockman said...

Cog,

So Knicely's a nice guy. BFD. So's the retarded kid working the drive-thru at McDonald's. They don't let himread the news on TV, do they?

Joe Swank said...

What were those pathetic highlights from the boys state basketball tournament last night on channel 7? They looked like they were filmed with a web cam.

One would think the far and away best station in the area would have better equipment.

Johnny Bobcat said...

So what's the deal with John Campbell constantly saying "As you can see here?" It's enough to make it a drinking game and it's especially irritating in the morning while I'm listening, not watching the tv, getting ready for work. A crutch, or consultant?

Ted Brockman said...

Crutch. Consultants are paid to come up with really stupid things to say like "Newsplex" and "Webchannel."

Dumb Anguish said...

You want a drinking game while watching the Channel 7 weather? Take a swig every time they say the words "Live Super Doppler Seven Radar".

By the end of the forecast, you'll be as sky as a kite.

Al said...

This is great information, thanks for the excellent comments which are right on target.

bigpoppaE said...

Here's a list of the companies that are the biggest potential "dead man walking companies", meaning the ones most likely to default on their debt within the next year. Not surprisingly, media companies have the most companies in this category. Even less surprising, WOWT's owners (Gray) are the only company on the list from the Omaha market:

http://seekingalpha.com/article/125657-moody-s-bottom-rung-list-283-potential-dead-man-walking-companies

Trish said...

ok...if you think this is bad, you should watch action news 3 (are they required to use the word "action" in every single sentence??". Last week some robbery or something was caught on tape. the camera then flashed to that girl (mmmm...cant think of her name but shes the southern one they like to dress up in a matching scarf and hat all the time) and she was evidently standing in the lobby of the studio and the cameraman must have been hanging from the ceiling and they were trying to reinact what it would look like to be "caught on film". she said "the camera was much like the one we have here in our studio". i couldnt stop laughing. that was the lamest thing EVER! it looses focus from the story. who cares what it would look like to see the doorway from a security camera. they LOVE acting out stupid stuff.

oh ya...heres another goofy thing they do every day. at first i thought it was just something they did one day, but its now part of the weather every day. dean goes over to some coat rack and picks out a coat that would be appropriate for the day. he's got a windbreaker and a leather coat and some other coats to choose from. WTF??????????? eye yi yi

Operationseng said...

Channel 3 has a newscast...?

It's Raining In Spain said...

Speaking of third...the last time I watched, the two anchors consistently jumped their cues; meaning one started talking before the other one finished.
I can't decide if they're too cheap to employ a floor director, the anchors are too empty headed to realize what they were doing, or management thinks anchors interrupting each other emphasizes action...such a shame going from good to god-awful

You are visitor number