Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Winners

Now seems like a good time to take a gaze around the market and name our 2009 Incompetent All-Star News Team.

Morning Anchor (Male): WOWT's Lithpy Loudmouth Jimmy Thiedlecki
Morning Anchor (Female): KMTV's Slow-Talking Kerri (Did she borrow her lips from Joan Rivers?) Stowell 
Morning Weatherguesser: WOWT Ejacucaster Rusty Lord, who appears to be developing a man-crush on Thiedlecki. Maybe Jimmy's like a big sister to him.

Midday Anchor: WOWT's Dialect-Challenged Maladroit Maddox (can she not hear how she sounds or does she just not care? It's not like we haven't given her 91 things—and counting—to work on.)
Midday Weatherguesser: WOWT's Andrea Rich, who just can't resist telling viewers how to behave ["Tonight's a good night to take a walk (or mow the lawn or barbeque or read a book, etc.)"] She needs to stay in the barn.

Afternoon Anchor (Male): KMTV's Craig Negrelli
Afternoon Anchor (Female): KMTV's Carol Wang
(This may be the least charismatic lead anchor team in Omaha history. Not even Channel 3rd's early-80s team of John McDonald Bob Murray and Nancy Chandler were this dull.) [Thanks to an alert reader for the correction.]
Afternoon Weatherguesser: KETV's Bill Randby, whose penchant for hysteria seems to be increasingly reminiscent of his counterpart at Channel Sux.
Afternoon Sports: WOWT's Dave Webber, who really needs to hang it up.

Evening Anchor (Male): Who's worse than J-Pa Knicely? No such animal in Omaha.
Evening Anchor (Female): Wang, again.
Evening Weatherguesser: Omaha's most-experienced Armageddon-Predicting Ejacurologist, Jim Flowers
Evening Sports: KMTV's newly deflated Travis Justice, whose shrill, grating, nasal voice might actually make J-Pa and Flowers seem tolerable.


8 comments:

Omababe said...

>KMTV's Slow-Talking Kerri (Did
>she borrow her lips from Joan
>Rivers?)Stowell

This is one thing that really bugs me for some reason, the "ring around the lips" look! For bringing out the lips to the last row of the third balcony, yeah, but for close in on today's hi-def TV, it looks hideous!

Until recently I was blaming this on some poor underpaid, overworked, entry-level MUA, until a co-worker informed me that in the Omaha market "you do your own face" so I guess it's her own work.

If Kerri is listening in, I would recommend something like Kevin Aucoin's Making Faces which is an excellent reference for both street and stage makeup. Any library or bookstore should have it. If not that, most of the fashion mags have semi-regular "how to do lips" features.

I'm *VERY* surprised that nobody has corrected this. It's glaringly obvious and has been going on for a long time. I would assume some news director or studio exec would have said something.

Oh well ...

Dumb Anguish said...

Quote from a friend who recently visited here from out of town:

“What the f*** is a webchannel?”

operationseng said...

Channel 3 has a newscast...?

It's Raining In Spain said...

Ted...
Great picks, but you need to bone up on your local media history...
John McDonald was the Ken Doll to Chuck Roberts'real guy, while Nancy Chandler sparkled next to future Jim Earp shill Bob Murray. John and Nancy never worked to gether.
Also...Kerri Stowell's lips do have an annoying paint job, but that isn't nearly as distracting as the fish-like movements she makes when talking. It looks like she was taught by the dialogue coach from the movie "Singin In The Rain"

bumpngrind said...

Has anyone ever noticed Bill Randby's annoying, mannequin-like, semi-toothish grin he brandishes one-tenth of a second after his last word on the weather? He does it every night! He finishes his diatribe after returning to the news desk, then turns and gazes at the camera with that creepy death-like grin. Yikes.

Ted Brockman said...

Oh great...one more annoying thing to be aware of...like web freak Shiloh Woolman saying "You bet!" every day after she's been thanked for her hideous little report....thanks a lot.

Steve said...

One thing about Kerri...I guarantee that she is hotter than any woman posting on this blog! That woman has plenty of fans at the gym in the morning!

Ted Brockman said...

Thanks, Devon.

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