Friday, December 19, 2008

A Very J-Pa Christmas!

The long-awaited "holiday greeting" from vacuuous anchor J-Pa Knicely has finally emerged from the bowels of Channel Sux.

In this year's installment, we see J-Pa, J-Ma, and the fruit of their loins standing uncomfortably for a group photo. Then we're treated to footage of J-Pa in the kitchen with the grandkids. While J-Pa prattles mindlessly about the holidays, we get to see him giving the kids a treat. 

Apparently, he confides, the kids don't get "this" (Cap'n Crunch cereal) at home. So that darn J-Pa sneaks it to them when they visit. That's when we get the money shot: J-Pa doling out roughly three morsels of cereal in a glass to each kid.

Do you suppose he's actually that stingy? Or, in reality, does he not interact enough with the grandkids to know what an appropriate amount of cereal is for a small human?

We find ourselves hoping one of the toddlers will turn around and say, "WTF J-Pa?! Don't be such a tightwad!" But no such luck.

Unfortunately, there's no singing from the monotone Knicely boys. (Maybe next year!) The greeting ends with J-Pa offering viewers God's blessing for happy holidays and the new year. 

Why is it we feel all warm and tingly now?

4 comments:

Jon G. said...

hey why was my previous post deleted????

JEDIMAN40 said...

no kidding. I've had several deleted, for no real reason. My comment saying that comparing the Ejacucasters with Brick Tamlan was unfair to Brick! I don't get it!

Jon G. said...

in my prev. post, I asked "why keep watching Channel 6 news if you hate it so much." That doesn't mean I am a WOWT newswatcher, in fact, I haven't watched 6 in a long time....I was just wonderin'.

TickerBoy said...

Jon G,

You're an idiot. While you're at it, why don't you write letters to all movie critics asking them to stop watching bad movies.

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