This year, cotton-candy-for-brains morning anchorette Maladroit Maddox's spot features her inexplicable need to have neighbors help her put decorations up around the inside of her house. Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man Brian Mastre and his wife beam with pride as their kid screams gibberish at the camera—supposedly a sign that the little tyke wants to be like dad when he grows up and gains about 250 pounds.
We're still hoping for a reprise of John "Restless Hands" Knicely's spot from last year, in which he confessed his preference for being called "J-Pa," over "Grandpa," and then looked on proudly as his grown sons sang an embarrassingly off-key, acapella version of "Carol of the Bells" with the names of dad and dad's co-workers shoe-horned into the lyrics.
That's what Christmas is all about, isn't it? Using your family (and now, apparently, the neighbors) to show how personable and real you are.
God bless us, everyone.