Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Humbug

Holiday time at Channel Sux means filling up time that nobody would buy with "holiday greetings" that showcase the station's on-air personalities and their families.

This year, cotton-candy-for-brains morning anchorette Maladroit Maddox's spot features her inexplicable need to have neighbors help her put decorations up around the inside of her house. Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man Brian Mastre and his wife beam with pride as their kid screams gibberish at the camera—supposedly a sign that the little tyke wants to be like dad when he grows up and gains about 250 pounds.

We're still  hoping for a reprise of John "Restless Hands" Knicely's spot from last year, in which he confessed his preference for being called "J-Pa," over "Grandpa," and then looked on proudly as his grown sons sang an embarrassingly off-key, acapella version of "Carol of the Bells" with the names of dad and dad's co-workers shoe-horned into the lyrics. 

That's what Christmas is all about, isn't it? Using your family (and now, apparently, the neighbors) to show how personable and real you are.

God bless us, everyone.

4 comments:

Joe Swank said...

Ok since this site has turned exclusively to bashing 6 I will offer some balance.

Did anyone see the 7 morning show? First Melissa Fry just stumbles through a traffic segment trying to say something witty about their aerial shot of the city. She ends it with "oh I dont know what I was trying to say.

Later Nicole is interviewing Pam Weise from the Humane Society and she keeps talking over her trying to answer the question she herself asked. Great live interview skills! Go back to Saturdays when nobody is watching

Ted Brockman said...

Other stations can be bad, but none can match the clock-like regularity of SuxNews.

The Black Sheep said...

I was wondering where your "J-Pa" moniker for Knicely came from, Ted...

Omababe said...

>Other stations can be bad, but none
>can match the clock-like regularity
>of SuxNews.

I tend to agree here. Until recently I watched 6 in the evening. (Why? Because I prefer NBC national news and I'm too lazy to switch the channel.) When watching 6 local news I always felt like they were talking down to me, very parental in tone.

I started switching to 7 at 6:00pm. Unfortunately it's not that much better. :(

Oh well ...

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