Friday, December 19, 2008

Flaccidity

This is really too easy. 

By Thursday afternoon, Jim Flowers' "snowburst" prediction had swollen to "upwards of four inches" for the Omaha metropolitan area. 

According to the National Weather Service, the actual total was 1.3 inches by midnight Thursday. We'll see how much came after that, but we're guessing it wasn't a lot.

The Ejacucast Authority's record so far this season breaks down as follows.

• Ejacucast Snowfall Prediction Total: 12 inches
• Total Actual Snowfall Recorded: 3.3 inches
• Jim's Ejacucast Deficit (Jim's E.D.): 8.7 inches
• Prediction Index for Sux's Snowscares (PISS): 3.3 ÷ 12 = .275 (27.5%)

So, next time the Ejacucasters warn of an impending snow disaster, multiply their predicted snowfall total by .275 to see what, based on their track record, is the more likely scenario. 

In other words, take into account Jim's E.D. and the Ejacucasters' tendency to PISS themselves before you get too worried. 

6 comments:

The Black Sheep said...

Awesome...

The Black Sheep said...

By the way, Ted, do you have a particularly growing grudge against ch. 6? You have posted 12 times this month, and all 12 posts were bashing 6 (with the only exception being a passing positive reference to Tyson Pearsall at 42).

Not that I mind, of course, because 1) you're right, and 2) it's funny, but it looks like you've given up on bashing any of the other channels.

Ted Brockman said...

No particular grudge other than their routinely terrible product. They have almost become a parody of themselves with their serial misspellings, incompetent on-air talent, endless gimmicks, and ability to tell themselves that everything they do is genius.

It's as if they've all joined a cult, reciting the same tired phrases over and over again, almost gleeful in their celebration of themselves, and totally clueless that they suck. It's kind of like The Brady Bunch Movie, where the Bradys are totally oblivious to the world outside themselves.

We probably should bash other stations, but we just can't turn away from this ongoing trainwreck long enough to do it.

Dumb Anguish said...

Something curious I’ve noticed about KETV whenever they do their snow predictions. For example: On their map they’ll have a big red blob marked 2-4 inches and they’ll have a big orange blob marked 4-6 inches. The city of Omaha will invariably be placed on the border of the red blob and the orange blob.

I presume it’s a sneakier way of saying Omaha will have anywhere between 2 and 6 inches of snow. I think the technical term is wiggle room.

Gene said...

This blog is freaking brilliant. Love it, you all.

I'd say there needs to be one about Lincoln's news stations, but it's not nice to make fun of people that drool.

newshound said...

"Flaccidity" is a good word to describe Jim's and just about any other weather forecasters shtick. Except Jim actually believes what he's saying. Bless his heart.
I gotta add... your post on this was pure comedy. I busted a gut.

You are visitor number