Thursday, December 25, 2008

Coal

Acting on a tip from an alert reader, we subjected ourselves to the 10 p.m. Christmas edition of KETVNewswatchSeven, achored by KETVNewswatchSeven's Brandi Peterson. Just as we'd been warned, there was no shortage of stupidity.

In what has become the station's standard holiday story, reporter Owen Lei apparently stood around Eppley Airfield looking for idiots and was not disappointed.

One woman—whose only identified qualification was having her flights in Washington, D.C. and Chicago delayed—spoke quite authoritatively about delays in what she referred to as the "Pacific Northeast."

Another idiot, sporting a bluetooth headset and a slimy-looking chinstrap beard, expressed shock that other people were traveling on Christmas day. "We thought we'd be the only goofballs" flying, he said with the customary moronic chuckle at the end of his remarks.

As our alert reader points out, nothing in the story came close to resembling news.

The stories that followed weren't much better. One was the obligatory people-eating-at-a-food-pantry (People Having a Shitty Christmas); the only twist here was that those being fed were obliged to sit through a Korean language lesson, ostensibly because the people feeding them were Korean.

The third story involved Marla Rabe revealing that there was (oh my god oh my god oh my god!) a grocery store open on Christmas Day.

Since there's clearly no real news to cover on Christmas Day, how 'bout just giving everybody a day off and airing a rerun of "Wheel of Fortune" or something next year?

7 comments:

Operationseng said...

Ted:

Is there every ANY news to report on ANY of the stations. It seems we have all gone over to the insipid, unnewsworthy on all four stations. Sux, of course, is one of the worst. Watch a Friday night or Saturday night newscast for a prime example of non-reporting on non-events. Guess their behind the scenes crew are all too busy ghost hunting to bother about putting together a decent newscast.

Max Cool said...

Amen.

Omahanews said...

I know KETV seems to only hire based on looks....and blondes. And God love them for that!
As for substance, the reporters at KETV have none!
You have to love Marla Rabe....she is so HOT!!!

Ted Brockman said...

Perhaps, but aside from FUBAR Fazal, KETV's reporters seem to be able to construct sentences; at Sux, that's apparently considered a deficiency.

TickerBoy said...

Ted,

Adrian Whitsett????

Dumber than the dumb blondes in my opinion.

operationseng said...

Would someone please, for the love of GOD, tell Todd Andrews it's Two Thousand Nine!!!!, not Twenty-O-Nine!!! Didn't he take grammar lessons in college? Oh, my mistake, journalists, particularly television journalists don't have grammar lessons, that's why they're on television. Don Henley, where have you gone?

TickerBoy said...

Don't confuse education (or lack there of) with attempts at being "cute"

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