Monday, November 10, 2008

Ejacucasting

To hear the Suxers tell it, none of them can go anywhere without being mobbed by folks wanting to know about "Jim's Winter Forecast." 

Yeah, sure. Hardly anyone's talking about the election, or Thanksgiving being right around the corner, or the latest episode of "The Office." We'll bet Jim's appearances in public look like the return of the Elvis. People are so dependent on his pronouncements.

Oh brother. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this particular SuxNews urban myth, "Jim's Winter Forecast" is an annual event in which Jim Flowers—a man who can only occasionally tell you what the weather will be like tomorrow—pretends to be able to tell you what it will be doing in February.

Jim's typical "winter forecasts" involve telling viewers it'll be cold in December, and if that's the case, it'll be warmer in January and March, but if December is warm, then we should expect a colder February, at which point, most viewers probably ask themselves why the hell they tuned in for this. Anyone could make a similarly vague prediction and have just about the same likelihood of being right as Jim does.

The really great thing is listening to Jim talk three or four minutes of inside baseball—the kind of stuff that only dorks with meteorology fetishes care about—before he gets around to (sort of) making guesses in which virtually every remark is hedged in one way or another. 

Wouldn't it be something if the Suxers actually focused—just once—on producing newscasts with accurate, relevant news to attract viewers, instead of relying on this kind of pseudo-scientific prattling and hype? How depressing must it be to get up every day knowing that you're stuck on such a sinking ship of a station?

3 comments:

Dumb Anguish said...

Well here's my Winter forecast.

Approximately 11 times this winter, Jim Flowers will predict a "major snow event". He will say its 4 to 6 inches, but each time he will act as if it were impending armageddon. He probably even start quoting Hindu passages about how he has become death, the destroyer of worlds.

But in each case, we'll actually only end up with a dusting of snow.

In the meantime, he will be completely caught off guard by two or three big snowstorms, producing almost a foot of snow in each case. (He will have either forecasted isolated flurries)

And he will spend much of the next day trying to explain away why he totally dropped the ball...But how he got a lot of compliments from KFAB.

nebraska said...

Flowers MUST go, along with 2/3rd's of the staff there. I am appalled at the bizarre arrogance there. There is such POOR quality anymore anywhere. I see people's talents wasted.

Willie B Wright said...

Jim's a decent enough guy. I've know him personally since about 1993. But it's time for a change. His delivery hasn't kept up with the times, and things like the annual Winter Forecast is a prime example. His gaffe's during the spring/summer severe storm season emphasize my point.

The same could be said about Randby over at 7, but he's found the same Fountain of Youth that Dick Clark drank from for 30 years, and is still managing to stay fresh & current on his methods. Plus, he has surrounded himself with a better support staff than Jimbo has been given.

Go back to PA or OH or wherever you like to fish, Jim, and hand over the reins to a suitable successor. You've done a good job, but it's time to move along.

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