Friday, August 29, 2008

More FUBAR

Speaking of mannish features, an alert reader sends us this, regarding KETVNewswatchSeven's professional screw-up specialist, FUBAR Fazal:
Don't know if you noticed or not, but last night (August 28) at the 10:00 news cast on Channel 7, Fubar was doing a story about that boat that burned and was sent floating down the river.  Fubar explained to us all that arson investigators were investigating the fire to see if somebody deliberately set it.  Thank you, Captain Obvious!  At least she only fumbled her words about 5 or 6 times, instead of the usual 10 or 12.
Yeah, that's so FUBAR. It would be like her to tell viewers that a cake decorator planned to decorate cakes.

Why does this witless wonder continue to work for Channel 7? Their recent hires show they can do much better.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Wee Wee, MAD-dam

Are we the only ones who watched Maladroit Maddox's "Sux on Your Side" spot in which she pronounced the name of the restaurant, Le Voltaire, as "Lay Voltaire"?

It was a nice match of her partner Jimmy "Gomer" Thiedlecki's "Serk DAY So-lay" promo of 2006. 

Omaha viewers really owe Joplin, Missouri, a punch square in the face for sending us these two rubes.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Letter

Here's a nice letter to WOWT that an alert reader cc'd us on...
Thanks so much for the showing of your toddler program, "The Omaha Buzz" @ 11:35PM On Aug 3, 2008...

I was riveted to my set as I watched your children stumble through, and announce the coming events for mid-May and early June 2008...

Keep up the good work!
It's good to see we're not the only ones who notice the institutional ineptitude of that mistake of a station.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Misc.

• KETVNewswatch7's Brandi Peterson and Rob McCartney did a live shot from somewhere or other on Saturday morning. It's hard to remember where because it didn't take long for the camera to pull back and reveal that Peterson was wearing shorts—shorts that showcased some startlingly Hillary Clintonesque calves. It didn't help that she was standing next to uber-thin McCartney, but these would've been noticeable even if she'd been in a shot with Gary Kerr.

• An alert reader has posted a question that we've heard more than once over the past decade or so: Does WOWT anchormatron John Knicely wear a hairpiece? 

• Several folks, posting both on this blog and the one attached to City Weekly's MediaNotes, have echoed our opinion that SuxNews should show J-Pa the door. The only problem is that there's absolutely no one on staff to replace him with. Jimmy "Gomer" Thiedlecki? Brian "BM" Mastre? Neither of those knobjobs is a sensible option. Might they look to snatch someone from Channel 7? It wouldn't be the first time.

• Could someone please tell Channel Sux Ejacuweatherguesserauthorities Jim Flowers and Rusty Lord to get their pants hemmed to the proper length? From the looks of these guys' cuffs, you'd think they'd had their trousers tailored to allow for a growth spurt.

• Has Fubar Fazal been taken off Saturday evening anchor duty on KETV? We've tuned in two of the past three Saturdays and been relieved to find Todd Andrews in her place.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Stuck

Poor Channel Sux. Every now and then, they try doing something that they think is hip or cutting edge, and it almost always ends up looking like really uptight adults trying to be cool around the neighbor kids.

Such was the case when someone at SuxNews decided to have morning anchor Jimmy Thiedlecki interview comedian Bill Bellamy and then post the interview on their "web channel" (or as the rest of the world calls it, "website"). In front of four or five oddly positioned cameras, not only does Jimmy pepper the segment with references to "Dice Clay" and "Stephen Wright," he also spends about 40 percent of the interview looking back at the camera and talking over Bellamy.

Jimmy, if you're reading, a few tips: (1) 1992 called, and it wants its comic reference points back. (2) Stop mugging for the camera; we can listen without your supervision. And (3) keep in mind that the idea of an interview is to find out what guest has to say, not how impressive you are (or think you are).  
You are visitor number