Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Finished

The transformation of SuxNews morning girl Malorie Maddox into a complete moron is now complete.

Coming out of a break, Malaprop had this to say about the live shot of I-480 and the North Freeway:
We are taking a live look off onto the highway system this morning, we've got a lot of highways in this shot for you to take an overview at.
Not more than 30 seconds later, she pronounced the word, transient, "transit."

Let this be a warning to you kids at home: just sitting next to a stupid person like Jimmy Thiedlecki can cause brain damage. Spending too much time with people like Jimmy is the equivalent of eating a handful of lead-based paint chips with every meal.

3 comments:

Dumb Anguish said...

(snort laughter). Malorie Maddox, bless her heart. I personally haven't seen that Daybreak show in months. Its good to know they haven't changed much.

Just curious. I would love to know if, at any point, any of the stations have looked out at their Live City Cam Networks and have been able to say anything besides, "Looks like things are running smoothly".

This is Omaha, Nebraska for crying out loud. We don't exactly have a Los Angeles inspired labryinth of Freeways and interstates travelled by millions of citizens each and every morning.

I'm just not so sure we need updates on the traffic situation every 90 seconds.

Allen Jr. said...

Per Malorie Maddox this morning at 5 a.m." A man beaten to death was removed from life support ". Seems to me that if your dead by whatever means life support would be kind of pointless & expensive. I would also like to add to the Mal-speak list with HELL- frozen precipitation in the summer and HELD- past tense of HELL

Ted Brockman said...

I'm adding it now...

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