Monday, June 30, 2008

He he he

Sean Weide Jim Minge reports that KETV continued blowing WOWT out in the May sweeps. Sux's numbers are down 17 percent from a year ago.

Check it out here.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Help?

Channel 6 has started running promos thanking viewers for helping the station cover Friday's severe weather outbreak.

There's no way to prove it but we figure people are probably "helping" because they weren't expecting SuxNews to get around to it for a day or two, as was the case earlier in the month when a tornado hit.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Guide

Since she has apparently made no effort to improve her delivery...
OMAnews Presents
The Mal-Speak Translation Dictionary
Useful words and phrases to help you understand what Malorie Maddox is saying when Jimmy'th not thpitting on and/or talking over her.

BASE-mint: the below-grade portion of a building
BIN-ing-tun: town in NW Douglas County
DUB-yo-DUB-ya-TEE: the call letters of the station where Malorie works
MEH-thur (rhymes with weather): a woman who has given birth; female parent
minnie: a large number; more than a few
REST-ee: new meteorologist; out of practice
streenth: a property of being strong; intensity
tin: the number between nine and eleven
tinse: not relaxed

Send your favorite Mal-Speak items to omanews@hotmail.com!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Dumb

If there were Laws of Omaha Television, one would be "John Knicely + Unscripted Live TV = Unspeakably Bizarre Conversation."

God help poor Jim Flowers. As if it hadn't been a bad enough week already. He's two weatherguessers short of his usual contingent (and the one that's left considers sun-glare a weather event), and then he had to simultaneously keep tabs on a horrendous outbreak of tornadoes and endure whatever idiotic remarks pop out of Knicely's mouth.

A couple of examples from Wednesday evening:

• Referring to a Boy Scout camp at Little Sioux, IA, where there were four fatalities reported, Knicely said, "If you have a relative or son or, um, a situation there . . ." (and his voice trailed off until Flowers went on with storm information). 

• While Flowers described a live radar image, Kinicely announced, "Griswold, Iowa...we got a report earlier from there...and there was some heavy rain but [something something blah blah]." It was perhaps the most amazing non-sequitur we can recall. Flowers, apparently dumbfounded, just resumed what he'd been saying. It appears he's decided that ignoring J-Pa is the best strategy.

With the recent dismissals at WOWT, it's hard to imagine why management keeps this dunderhead around. Lord knows removing him from the payroll would free up some budget dollars, and it would relieve viewers from having to watch a seemingly retarded anchor stumble toward retirement. While they've got the budget axe out, what's one more (empty) head?

Monday, June 09, 2008

Flummoxed

A severe thunderstorm rumbled into Omaha on Monday evening around 9, and Ejacucaster/Weather Authority Jim Flowers looked lost. He talked and talked and talked and conveyed close to no comprehensible information.

The problem with Jumpy Jim, along with his mostly-departed Ejacucasting sidekicks, is that he's so busy trying to show how much theory he knows and how his gizmos operate that he largely sidesteps discussion of what impact the weather might have on the people out in it. Tracy Madden, when Jim left her with several seconds of dead air, asked when we might escape the recent pattern of storms every day or two, and Jim launched into an "um"-laden dissertation on La Nina and computer models and all manner of peripheral information that most viewers couldn't care less about.

Maybe it's time for the braintrust at SuxNews to refocus their weatherguessers' efforts on just predicting the weather and leaveall the bragging and science class lectures off the air.

Pinch Us

If what an alert reader tells us is true, then this is shaping up as one of the most eventful weeks in Omaha TV history (okay, maybe we're exaggerating, but not by much).

According to our tipster, KETV morning anchor Elictia Hammond is leaving the station at the end of June to "spend more time with her family."

Once dubbed by this blog the Omarosa of Omaha television, Hammond's obnoxiousness has been eclipsed by that of any number of WOWT misfits (see Brummer, Pierce, Cronemeyer, New, et al.).

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Purge?

More good news from WOWT. High-voiced Ejacucaster Jeff Jensen is gone!

Don't care how. Don't care why. 

Brummer, gone. Pierce, gone. Jensen, gone. Keep on sweepin'! (Don't forget J-Pa!)

Discovery

By Sunday evening at 5 p.m., WOWT detected that a tornado had hit Omaha early Sunday morning.

Empty-headed anchor John Knicely was on the scene within 15 hours of the storm, telling stories that KETV had covered on its 7 a.m. newscast.

At 10 p.m., Chief Ejacucaster Jim Flowers—with nary a giggle—apologized for the station's coverage, but then began backpedaling almost immediately. He and Mike McKnight were busy on KFAB, he explained, and lots of people appreciated that. And they got on TV by 3:15. And it was a really, really fast moving storm. And Jim still doesn't have power at his house!

The storm was moving so fast that only Channel 7 could detect it? That's their defense? KETV should use that in their promos.

Ekshit

WOWT's speech-impaired anchor/reporter Rachel Pierce closed out "Channel Shicksh Newzh UhLive Shunday" by announcing that she's leaving the station this week. Her last day is Wednesday, which will purge from the station's payroll yet another totally worthless employee. God help the poor folks in Des Moines, where she claims to be headed.

Blowing

Credit KETV's Chuck McWilliams with being the only area meteorologist to be on the air early Sunday morning when Omaha was being hammered by a fast-moving storm system that produced tornado-like winds and damaged homes in Millard.

A calm, collected McWilliams deftly shifted among various radar tools at his disposal, identifying the center of the storm and warning viewers in its path.

The more compelling story was how unprepared other stations seemed. KPTM had someone on the air by around 2:45, but both KMTV and WOWT remained silent, with WOWT airing an episode of the 1960s western series, "Wild, Wild West." KMTV eventually got "C.T" Thongklin on the air, but that was long after the danger had passed.

More ranting about this later, particularly regarding Channel 6, which still didn't have much info on the storm in its 8 a.m. newscast. Suffice it to say that someone at 35th and Farnam will be answering lots of questions about why that station appeared to have hung up their "gone fishin'" sign, while a potential tornado skipped across town.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Mail

Notes from alert readers...

Had we checked our email more often, we would've seen this email on May 27th:

The folks at Channel 6 News, at 5:00, did their TOP STORY on how inconvenient road construction is at 33rd and Farnam. Are they really so lazy that they only go two blocks for a story 
and decide it's the most important due to proximity to their building?

Answer: To use Steve Martin's line, "Is a bear Catholic? Does the Pope shit in the woods?"

Another email, this one from May 30th, asserts: 

I'm here to tell you, I've discovered that WOWT stands for "Where's Our White Trash?".  As of late they have been managing to find the trashiest people to interview and they seem all for it.

Two recent examples:
A story about some woman who thought a local tax preparer had stolen her child's identity.  With trusty panic-button-pusher Mike McKnight and a camera crew in tow...This woman goes storming into the tax preparer's office and just starts screaming and shouting at this man.  It was positively painful to watch...Like I'd accidentally flipped over to an episode of "Maury"

This other one...Even better...They managed to find somebody who was displeased with the evacuation procedures during the chemical spill down by the zoo.  And they get this lovely woman on the news to proclaim that the city did "a piss poor job".  And they didn't have any qualms about putting her tirade on the air either.

I think its becoming obvious who this station is trying to cater to!

Response: We'd be the last to defend the Suxers, but Channel 7 is pretty good at scraping up their own bottom-feeders. One recent story focused on a similarly trashy mom who made her kids (including a sobbing toddler) stand at the corner of 132nd and Center with illegible homemade signs to punish them for their misbehavior. One nice shot showed her watching them from the comfort of her folding canvas chair.

Finally, one reader sent us this screencap featuring working typical of Channel 7's "webmaster" Shiloh Woolman (speaking of trashy). Writes said reader: "Maybe the should have 'over-arrested' him." Keep up the great work, Shiloh. ("You bet!" she'd  surely reply.)





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