Saturday, August 19, 2006

Saturday Morning Nightmare

Talk about scary.

We awoke Saturday morning, flipped on the tube, and were plunged into an unexpected nightmare.

First, Channel 6 was running its usual weekend shitfest, only with an uglier-than-usual twist. Speech-impaired, fashion-challenged anchor Rachel Pierce showed up for work sporting perhaps the gaudiest, most-inappropriate, busy, deep-purple outfit we've ever seen on a TV newsperson. Wearing a giant purple beaded necklace and that awful hair, Pierce looked even more out of place than usual. There really aren't words for just how hideous it was. (We won't even get into her attempt to pronounce "unconstitutional," because that was at least entertaining.)

Seeking relief from the shower of spit, we flipped to Channel 7. What awaited us there was a lighter shade of purple—lavender, to be exact—being worn by stumbling stooge Fubar Fazal at the anchor desk. Alone. [Cue Little Richard: "Help me! Somebody help me!"]

We won't go into the details. It's just too painful. Suffice it to say that Fubar is as worthless at the anchor desk as she is as a reporter.

Every time we see something like this, we think Omaha television finally has hit bottom and that things will start to improve. But experience is starting to suggest that there is no bottom, given the hiring habits of these stations' management types.


AvidOmahaNewsViewer said...

Isn't it amazing how TV stations will spend all that money on worthless, talent-clueless consultants and turn a deaf ear to comments from viewers. You KNOW 6 and 7 get a deluge of phone calls and mail--electronic and snail--complaining about how horrible Fazal, Liggett, Cronemeyer, Pierce (and the list goes on) are. Another strong statment of just how Omaha TV news has been dummied down over the years. God save us all!

damnyankee said...

Oh no - what I thought was my own personal nightmare this morning is really true?!? It wasn't just me that saw these two?!?

For those that missed it - you are the lucky ones. It was truly horrid on both accounts.

Inaction 3 needs to get into the fray. Maybe "the Tool" can host a morning show in capri pants and a Carmen Miranda get-up.

If nothing else, it would look more normal than anything that was on today.

gerrishnut said...

The brains at WOWT have decided to bring back "Heartland Focus" with new host, Rachel Pierce.

The show used to be tolerable when the much-loved and much-missed Meagan Dardanell used to host the show.

Instead of giving this chick her own show, albeit a show no one every watches, maybe they should send her pretty little ass to Metro for some speech classes.

Way to go WOWT.

joeygrisgris said...

As has been said here many times, the problem is that since channel sux constantly gets voted #1, why should they change. As for the citizanry that feed this nightmare, I refer to Gene Wilder in the movie "Blazing Saddles". Quote: These are simple people, people of the common clay. You know.....morons.

Obbop said...

For some unfathomable reason, though I have pondered deeply to make some reason fathomable, when my bulging eyes absorb the photons conveying the claptrap locally termed a news broadcast, my memories take me back, through the decades, back to the early 1960s when the Red Menace and our close proximity to a prime target for thermonuclear devastation resulted in those wondrous "duck and cover" routines wherein the drapes were closed to cover the windows, the lights were turned off and we scrunched our young prepubescent bodies under our desks, shut our eyes, laced our fingery hands' fingers across the top of our bulbous heads and huddled there, awaiting a faux calamity that could become unfaux at the touch of a Commie finger upon a launch button.

The same instilled reaction to an external threat brings that long-gone routine to shut the eyes and hunker down, hopefully escaping the terror coming at one.... in this case, today, fearing the inane absurdities flowing forth from every TV station's local so-called news offering.

damnyankee said...

Caught KETV this morning (Sunday).

Thank god for Mike Sigmond.

(attention - the words above have never been said or written before!!)

DiggerDog said...

Ever since Courtny Gerrish left Omaha watching local news isn't worth my time. With this said, and I'm being 100% honest here, what are the hiring requirements, practices, and procedures at 3, 6, and 7? The more I watch these stations, which is rare these days, the more I think all they care about when hiring on-air "talent" is cost with no regard to looks and/or performance.

Obbop said...

" anchor Rachel Pierce showed up for work sporting perhaps the gaudiest, most-inappropriate, busy, deep-purple outfit we've ever seen on a TV newsperson."

Sigh...... despite my deep-felt desire to see local news babes do their newscast thing attired in skimpy bikinis my lucidity is lucid enough to make me realize ny burning desire is for naught.

So, since the broadcast babes are gonna' cover their lithe delectable female-type bodies with non-burquas what exactly is wrong with emulating an eggplant?

Isn't an eggplant worthy of emulation? I have never heard of an eggplant starting a war, attacking an innocent child or other nefarious activities. No!!!!

Eggplants are passive and, if you are really really hungry they will sustain you. Or, if you are really really weird you may actual experience liver quiverin' delight when munching on an eggplant.

No no no, I am not advocating biting our eggplant look-a-like broadcast babe. I just think we should respect the lass for emulating the friendly eggplant.

Cogitor said...

Wow! Whatever obbop was enjoying yetsreday, I want some too!

He's right (she's right?), though. Eggplants ARE passive. Radicchio, on the other hand...

navin_johnson said...

Was FUBAR speaking English? Seriously her muttled speech pattern and sloooooow draw made me want to go back to sleep! Is that what KETV management want viewers to do? I was "happy" to see Mike Sigmond on Sunday morning, although I kept waiting for him to toss to his mom for weather or'on you know she was waiting in the wings for her cue!!!

You are visitor number