Thursday, August 10, 2006

Even Ten Minutes a Day Is Too Much Channel Sux

Unable to bear the sight of cross-eyed Sheila Brummer in the afternoon/evening or the thound of a solo, loud-talking, know-it-all Jim Thiedlecki in the morning, we've avoided Channel 6 this week. Unfortunately, we twice made the mistake of not changing the station when we got in the car after someone else had left the radio on 87.7.

During Wednesday's "Live at Five" broadcast, when corpse impersonator Gary Smollen was "reporting live" from somewhere or other, the microwave signal went out, forcing brain-dead anchor John Knicely to ad-lib. It took a good ten or fifteen seconds for ol' John to put together a meaningful, relevant sentence.

During the same broadcast, Brummer identified the area of 42nd Street between F and L Streets—the location of a police search—as "midtown." Anyone who knows Omaha will tell you that's South Omaha.

(Sidenote: Why, when referring to the station website, does Brummer insist on referring to the web address as "Dubya-dubya-tee dot-com"? Isn't she forgetting a letter? She's been doing it for months; doesn't anyone mention this to her?)

This morning, during the 7:55 local cutaway from the Today Show, Thiedlecki referred to a chase that led to "an exchange of gunfire from both parties." Umm, doesn't the word exchange make it obvious that both parties were involved?

The piece de resistance, however, was weatherguesser Scott Akin's totally useless forecast. His first sentence suggested it would be raining at least through the morning, but the rest of his time was spent seemingly backing away from that statement. He showed radar images and said the rain had moved out of the metro area into Iowa and ended up saying that any rain would be "isolated."

So, Scott, it's gonna rain, unless it doesn't?

More and more we're convinced that WOWT's target viewer is blind, hearing-impaired, uneducated A.D.D. sufferers who don't really listen to what's coming out of the TV. Who else could take these people seriously?


Hosh said...

Now Scott can say tomorrow that he was right, either way.

rickoxo2 said...

I agree with the channel sux bashing, but has anyone seen the 'news' on KPTM? It seems like every night they go to broadcast without a plan. On their 'report' about the police chase, we see Jo Giles standing by the police tape in a neighbor hood, and her cameraman running toward her on camera, like he was the last out of the truck, but the report had already started.

The next 'story' was about the light company that was struck by lightning last year and suffered from an enormous blaze. There was file footage ran, with a dateline of August 10, 2006, not 2005. Mind you this was run on Aug. 9, 2006. Looks like they took a ride in Doc Brown's DeLorean for that report.

I agree, 10 mins is too much channel Sux, but much like crack is to cocaine, only 5 mins of the cheaper version, in the form of KPTM, is too much for this viewer.

As long as I am piling on KPTM, may as well keep going. First, some one get JJ Davis a comb. Second, tell him when he’s done with the comb to give it to Tyson Pearsall. Third, I think Taylor Wilson is the only one over there who does not use a pseudonym. It seems the folks over there were assigned names developed by Rainman and handed out ‘Reservoir Dogs’-style. “You, weatherman, you are going to be Tyson Pearsall, you, news anchorette will be Tracy Jacim, and you, up-to-the-minute reporter, you will be Jo Giles.” Am I the only one who can picture this?

damnyankee said...

I agree with the names - can't be real. But I imagine the naming ceremony to be more like that scene from Animal House...

rickoxo2 said...

To damnyankee

Even better analogy than the 'Dogs! That's right folks! What other website can you get an honest, and accurate, comparison of a news production to the Delta House?

Obbop said...

I gotta' be a masochist. I knew what awaited me. Yet, some inner compulsion guided my paw to grasp the control de la remote and activate the up-channel button with my pudgy lard-laden finger.

Poof... pert' near magical. The channel is now WOWT broadcast channel 6. The rabbit ear antennae is sucking up the signal allowing the image to be decently clear. Darn.

There, behold, akin to an east coast "Teflon Don" is the weather guesser of renown... Flim Jowers. Uhhh.. Jim Flowers... I think. Kinda' ignore the teleprompter babblers.... not viewing the corporate droids as living breathing humanoids. Nay!!!!! They exist, on-air anyway, to disseminate facts and data, raw unadulterated info supposedly free from bias so as to inform me, allowing my superior-to-the-teleprompter-entity's brain to arrive at quasi-educated assumptions and beliefs to fend off boredom here in the humble shanty-like shanty.

At the conclusion of the weather guessing session my mind reels, agony envelopes me..... the HORROR!!!!!

Flowers and some assuredly air-headed dame whose persona is the single best reason for repealing the 19th amendment I have seen lately banter back and forth, spewing the warm fuzzy feel-good dreck WOWT is overflowing with then..... the two imbecilic (in my opinion as is all my written utterances about public figures) stare at the camera, stretching their facial flesh to the utmost, exposing their teeth. Accckkkk!!!! In some cultures that demonstration of the chompers would be considered a threat!!!!

Are they dueling? Attempting to outdo the other in a battle of shoot-eating-grins? Is there a consultant behind the camera urging the two to expose as much of their cavernous maws possible?

Am I supposed to feel oh so warm and cozy inside as two overpaid local yokels act like babbling buffoons?


I think I'd rather have civil turmoil, asteroid strikes, massive pandemics, anything but all that warm fuzzy froth spilling out of that incredibly lame WOWT studio.

joeygrisgris said...

obbop, you are such an artist. But alas, you forgot the ever present Michael Born (again), who so graciously informed the viewing audience a few short days ago, that it would be 86 in the 'morrow, with the following day experiencing a considerable 87. Reminds me of Bruno Kirby in Good Morning Vietnam, where he chastised the radio heads for saying the weather was the same all time, when it's fact it's two degrees cooler today than it was yesterday.

damnyankee said...

Anyone notice that when Sux does a weather forecast the big, giant logo on the bottom left obscures the super-doppler-whopper-sky-vision-in-you-'hood-right-now temperature?


Melanie said...

What IS with her cross eyes? It's worse when she smiles. Sort of like a live-action pumpkin.

gerrishnut said...

When Brummer finishes a story, it seems to me she turns to he co-anchor to look for approval.

"Look at Me Jimmy SuckLicky," "I just read the news".

When did Nebraska have a "Sanders County"?

I've seen her in person, she's hot, not doubt about it, but it is painful to watch this hack do the news.

They showed Coutrny Gerrish the door for this? What a joke.

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