Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Fantastic Four...If You Count FUBAR


Here to protect us? Good god. What have we done to deserve this?

11 comments:

Cogitor said...

A quick look at the I-Team headlines shows that, among other things, they're protecting us from large breasts: "Woman Wants Breast-Reduction, Can't Get Coverage". While I'm sure this is a matter of great discomfort for the unfortunate subject of the story, I can't quite tell what they're protecting the rest of us from. How about protecting me from that idiot Farrah Fazal? Jesus.

jmsqabq said...

It's very funny .. but they should be ashamed of themselves for this promotion. Cheap manipulation .. and a total misrepresentation of what a TV Investigative Unit should do.
If that's Carol Kloss in the glasses (I think it is) with her years of experience she should be ashamed to be in this spot and should have refused.
Having said that, I have shown this to others I work with and it has elicited huge laughs. Thanks KETV for coming up with something so stupid.

Hosh said...

That's the type of protection you get when you donate lots of money to the Republican party and then go hunting with the VP.

UNMCStudent said...

Do they really take themselves seriously?

Charter Membership VRWC said...

Sadly, these muddling morons seem to find their way to making the waters even muddier, and more murky for the real investigators, whether they're employed in the public or private sector.

Or, could this promotion be the same as the corporate board of directors, deciding that the entire security budget falls under the overall "maintenance" category, and therefore the corporate security director is answering to the assistant head janitor?

If they had even an iota of professionalism, they'd get themselves some experience working as a real investigator, before taking off in the direction ofmaking a personal achievement out of these endeavors intp protecting their viewers from all these sensationalistic woes. When will they begin to go after those "license authorities" -- including the ones who license the investigators who must jump through the whoops they're exempt from, who in reality, are only in it for the fees??

How about protecting the public from the scammers and scheisters, and outright criminals among the investigative profession, licensed right here in Nebraska? What about the thousands of Nebraskans who claim meritorious awards and medals they've never really received?

How about looking into some of the many claims made in the Courtrooms of Nebraska, where no one gets to check the validity of the claim, before a ruling is made, because the budget doesn't allow it, and the lawyers ignore it?

There's a lot they could do, and still live up to the overzealous billing, but I'm not sure they have such an imagination. If they had even a few dollars, they could buy a consultant, who could lead them through the maze, to some really good work, but it would or could never be free. I kind of enjoy these fallacious attempts at heroic investigative journalism, myself.

God Bless,
Dan'L

AvidOmahaNewsViewer said...

The NewsWatch 7 I-Team promos are almost painful to watch. And the pain comes from laughing so hard. KETV has quickly gone from the most respectable news station in town to being tied for worst overall newscast (with KPTM and KXVO.)

As for the I-team spot...This is the worst local news promotion since WOWT launched those over-the-top promos of "This is...SIX NEWS" a couple of years ago. What was so funny about that campaign is that they have never referred to themselves as "Six News"--except in the the promos! Sadly, most viewers are so oblivious that it wouldn't matter what the stations promoted. (Unless someone were to speak out against our illustrious Prezudint Dubya, in which case a massive protest would ensue.) But I digress.

God Bless Omaha--land of inane media.

omatvwatcher said...

What I want to know is who's going to protect us from them?

omatvwatcher said...

From what I hear, KETV is here to use anyone they have to to get a story, and then turn their backs on them. They are actively burning bridges all across the city.

DiggerDog said...

I know of the I Team members who could should speak to the doctor doing the breast reduction to see if she can get some "improvements" from him. She should know that the A look was never in.

Obbop said...

This mention of mammalian protusions I find extremely tittilating.

My liver quivers with unadulterated delight with these posts....pert near as delightful as seeing Trav's latest tie.

Tóózy said...

I'll bet some idiot in management thought up the I-Team concept after an evening of tequila, A-Team reruns and 60 Minutes, with a little doobage thrown in. You know it all came together in a hazy moment of revelation. “ Hey, we can send out a team to protect Omaha. And if the bad guys don't kiss our ass and give us the story, we can shoot them with automatic rifles!” That would have been Cool with a capital C. Unfortunately, reality won out and we are left with the I-Team as it is now. So let me have a look at that picture of the team (It's horrid! Who OKed this, and why are they still on the payroll.) and see what I can make fun of!

Susanne Deyo: The blank look. Maybe the lost look. Possibly the "I just filled my drawers!" look. Most likely the lamb ready for the slaughter look.

Carol Kloss: Looks like she just fell out of a Transitions Lenses commercial (you know, where people walk around like assholes in the future with self satisfied smirks on their faces because they are wearing self-activated sunglasses, and are, in fact, assholes.)

Mike Sigmond: Just a bad, bad James Spader impersonation, unless of course, he IS actually falling over backwards or doing the Limbo as the extremely stiff white guy.. (Yeah! Break out the Bacardi and put on the Limbo Rock by Chubby Checker. Party! Where's the beer bong?)

Farrah Fazal: Looks like she's rubbing in a little Ben Gay on those tired, achy hands. And am I the only one that thinks that in this picture she has more than a passing resemblance to the late Danny Thomas? Yes, Make Room For Farrah! In other pictures she doesn't, but in this one she does. I'm just saying!

The I-Team, we're here to protect you, even if we can't protect our own image.

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