Friday, February 03, 2006

It's February: Break Out the Stupid Stories!

With February sweeps comes the thrice-yearly pissing contest in which KETV and WOWT seek to make the biggest mountain out of the smallest molehill. Thursday night brought us Newswatch 7's Brandi Petersen telling viewers about how they're all in danger of OVERDOSING on OVER-THE-COUNTER MEDICATIONS.

Over on 6News, pun junkie Mike McKnight tried to throw a good scare into its viewers by investigating the correctional system's furlough program. "MURDERS! SEX OFFENDERS!" the promos intoned. Hell, we're more worried about the Big Six's daily assault on our intelligence than about being a victim of some jailbird. The thought of John Knicely trying to pronounce the names of foreign leaders—now that's scary.

1 comment:

Obbop said...

The immense lack of appreciation for my helpful suggestions to channel six sticks in my craw.

Well, I suppose I do have a craw but I can't find it, whereever it is, and I have explored every nooklet and cranny of my rather rotund corpulent carcass.

Hearing the teleprompter-reading lackey of the corporate structure voicing "Thaaaaames" (with the "long a" sound as heard in the word "lazy") while pronouncing the river that runneth through London, Breat Britain I e-mailed the provincials at channel six that the river's name is pronounced the way you say the name "Tim" with an "s" added at the end.

Do I get a return "thank you" for enlightening the unwashed horde at channel 6? NAY!!!!!!!

Over the years I have notified the massed inbrededness at channel 6 to alert them to many mispronunciations. Do I get even ONE lousy "Thanks, Bub" from the bug-eyed buffoons?

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What an ungrateful bunch of semi-educated squallid duncels.

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