Wednesday, January 25, 2006

UPN+WB=CW: A Local Marriage from Hell?

Tuesday's announcement that the UPN and WB networks would merge struck us as interesting at first. We were thinking that maybe these two fractional networks might come together to create something closer to one complete outfit.

And then it occurred to us that the local implications could be rather ominous. Might Omaha's UPN affiliate—carried on Cox Cable and operated by WOWT's owner, Gray Television—enter into some sort of unnatural relationship with Pappas Telecasting's WB affiliate, KXVO, to create some awful hybrid containing the worst features of both?

Think about it: Calvert Collins sitting in front of that fake bank of monitors reading "Grocery Prices Underground." Or Jim Flowers delivering Ejacu-Weather segments with his tie off and his shirt unbuttoned to the sternum. Not trembling yet? Then imagine "first responders" Gary Smollen looking dead and Brian New sounding tearful while they deliver stories from what appears to be the homemade set of KXVO's 10 p.m. newscast. (On the other hand, new WOWT reporter Maniko Barthelemy might feel right at home amongst the underqualified KXVO crowd.)

If Omaha viewers love content-free newscasts—and Channel 6's sky-high ratings suggest they do—then having these two vacuuous outfits co-mingling fluids should make them positively giddy.

7 comments:

Amy said...

Eww...you paint a yucky picture. On many levels. I'm just hoping that the merger will be a non-cable station so I don't miss Gilmore Girls. I could give a damn about the newscast version of all this. But...ewww, anyway.

joeygrisgris said...

Gee Teddy...thanks for the nightmares. Maybe if they do that, they'll bring Pat Persaud out of retirement, not as on air talent, but as news director...with all her minions running about as clones of her. To quote amy....ewww ewww ewww.

RICK said...

Most of the stories on the merger brought up the point that "The CW" (worst name since, Snakes On A Plane) would initially only air on stations owned by the Tribune company-- neither Cox2 of KXVO. So what does this imply? Is it possible neither of the two networks will get the perks of carrying CW content? Will their schedules be entirely comprised of Mad About You reruns? Dammit, this reader wants to know!

(ps. Veronica Mars is THE BEST!)

photofarm said...

I would think that odds favor KXVO Chanel 15 will be the CW station for the Omaha area. KXVO is on the basic cable and over air broadcasts, while UPN is only on the COX digital tier. So I think Channel 6's UPN days are numbered, and it woun't be the CW affiliate for Omaha area.

TV Steve said...

Let's not forget that Cox 02 is also a UPN 'affliate'. Yeah, Omaha just couldn't get enough of those UPN programs! So instead of just WOWT and KXVO getting into bed, now you have Cox slipping in under the covers as well.
Ewww!

Husker Mike said...

Cox "02TV" is no longer a UPN affiliate; that moved to WOWT-6 last fall. Channel 6 broadcasts UPN on their digital signal on channel 6.2. Cox rebroadcasts 6.2 on one of their digital channels.

TV Steve said...

Well if Cox 02 isn't a UPN affliate someone needs to tell Cox. 02 is still listed as a UPN affliate in the Cox channel lineup and TV Guide. Oh and TV Guide's schedule shows them running the same lame shows that WOWT-DT 6.2 is showing. Well the same except for variations in the filler infomercials. So anyone with Cox digital can get it twice apparently. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

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