Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Pointless Holiday Rituals

Things we wish we never had to see again...

• Stories about last-minute shoppers on December 24th.

• Stories about shoppers seeking bargains and using gift cards on December 26th.

• Stories Omaha's first baby of the new year on January 1st.

• Military personnel wishing their families well, endlessly. Seriously, is there a less efficient means of getting these messages to families? What are the odds that some poor airman's holiday greeting from Germany is going to be seen by his family when it airs at 2:45 on Christmas morning? Airing these little blurbs is less about letting families hear from loved ones than it is about station p.r. How about giving all the time and money put into these things to the soldiers themselves?


Sidebar Sam said...

Talk about pointless ... Did anyone catch that gawd-awful piece by Matt Schtick about the Alamo Bowl deciding the '97 championship? Mattie couldn't have been more than 11 years old when they played that game, but here he is trying to impress us with this 3-minute 60 Minutes piece. Note to KETV: Stop hiring the Westside crew!

MelMains said...

How about (pre-Christmas) tips on keeping your Christmas tree from getting dry (water it every day, the anchor tells us solemnly), or (post-Chrismtas) where to drop off your Christmas tree for recycling.

Then there's the ever- popular "First graders tell us how to cook a turkey" stories right before Thanksgiving.

Thomas York said...

Like John Kniceley, armed services are taboo. Lay off. You can milk the bejeesus out of the ratings if you throw a yellow ribbon on the screen with a couple of folk in Iraq. There ain't a single American that bleeds red that doesn't love the holiday greetings from the troops. Let them have their moment in the sun fer chrisssakes!

Tóózy said...

One thing I wish for the new year. That would be for the Randby-Cornells to improve their taste in clothing. The periodic appearance of Julie's purple coat and Bill's purple shirt and matching purple tie is to much! It looks like they are wearing the approved henchmen uniforms of Batman's arch-enemy, the Joker. If they are going to wear purple, they might as well sell out all the way and head to the Joselyn and deface some art while dancing to the musical stylings Prince.

DiggerDog said...

Did any of you see Courtny Gerrish report on Gift cards? What was the deal with her hair? Whatever she was trying to accomplish, she failed. Unless, she was going for a bad look.

Cogitor said...

Don't forget (or rather, please forget) the perennial April 15th story complete with footage of a mind-numbing group of idiots in line at the main post office at 10:02 PM, coupled with the perennial April 16th story complete with footage of a mind-numbing group of idiots still in line at the main post office at 11:58 PM. Why does the USPS accomodate these dipshits, and how much does that cost in overtime?

By and large, anyone that stupid is too stupid to make enough to worry about waiting until the last minute. And if they do, they get what they askk for.

Site Coordinator - Katy said...

You might want to add to your list:


The famous 5pm LIVE shot of a reporter standing by I-80, talking about how snow-packed the roads are, and how slow traffic is. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... Oh, and don't forget to dress in layers, stock up on food, don't park on an Emergency Snow Route, bring Fido in from the cold....

Obbop said...

Redundancy rules, rookies.

Oh how I eagerly anticipate the breaking news stories when the Lotto reaches the couple hundred million buck level.

I bask in the glow of caring as the babblers bellow repeatedly of the "...enormous odds against winning..."

Gimme' a break (or a brake if I'm crossing the road). Do we, the people, really absolutely gotta' have ANOTHER dern' warning about how we ain't gonna' win the Lottery because the odds of one of us winning is greater than one of the locals broadcasters actually evolving into a reputable news organization?

But, despite the odds.... folks DO win.

If it is me I believe I will rent a downtown billboard and advertise:

"Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.... I won despite Channel 3,6 and 7 endlessly babbling about the impossible odds of winning the Lottery." Those words would accompany my ugly mug in glorious color at 100-times life size.

While on the subject shall we mosey over yonder about sumpthin' else? Around 3 or 4 years ago I was actually watching WOWT when they mentioned the upcoming breaking story that happened at the Sears store.

After the commercials and a slurry of lame no-news stories the uber-important breaking story blazed across the cathode ray tube.


Are you sitting?

Pacemaker working?


"Sears is now selling Maytag (or was it Whirlpool?) washing machines."


That's news?

I e-mailed the emasculated riddles hiding inside a mystery hiding inside an enigma and asked them how much Sears had paid for that story (assuming they MAY have). As typical, of the mega-dozens of e-mails sent to the corporate lackeys, I never received a reply.

By gosh, there's gotta' be a moral in there somewhere. A moral within the morass of mediocraty WOWT is slathered with.


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