Friday, November 04, 2005

A November Tradition

Electricity is in the air tonight all over town as neighbors and friends gather around the television to receive "Jim's Precision Winter Forecast"—that magical moment when WOWT meteorologist Jim Flowers works himself into a lather and tells us what to expect for the next five months. For the Brockmans, this is better than Thanksgiving and Christmas combined.

As is the case with other holiday seasons, this one heralds similar observances by Omahans of many faiths. Thursday night, for example, Sevenites lit candles and listened solemnly as KETV Newswatch 7's Super Doppler Meteorologist Bill Randby assured his followers that, among other things, temperatures will be near normal, January will be snowy ("a blizzard," he suggested), and the area will get 23-25 inches of snow this winter.

Seriously, though: As many have suggested, both on our Comments board and via email, do these two guys—who can't accuratelytell us what it's going to do in two days—really expect us to believe that they can predict what it's going to do in February? Flowers nearly pisses himself at the slightest hint of snow and Randby, while an earnest, likeable TV presence, is no better than average in his forecasts.

This sort of pseudo-scientific forecasting is detrimental to the credibility of both the individuals and the stations themselves. And, as one email suggests, if news operations lose their credibility, they have little reason to exist.

FLASH...6:14 p.m.: Jim Flowers is making us wild with his teasing. Now, in addition to billboarding his winter forecast, he is promising "a special announcement" at 10 p.m. We're going to have Mrs. Brockman standing by with the defibrilator, just to be safe; this is waaay too much excitement.


DaleMunson said...

Did somebody say forecast?

Dale is new to the site.

But he's not new to precision forecasts.

Dale loves Brandi Peterson, but wishes she would lose the Tori Spelling helmet hairdo.

Dale is old school and loves Byron, Gary, Mike May, Jim Kelter, Ann Schatz and other Omaha TV "legends"

Dale wonders what language Andrea Bredow speaks.

Dale talks in the third person

Dale doesn't care that Tricia Meuret is leaving

Dale thinks Courtney Gerrish has a stone face and square jaw that would frighten a linebacker (take that, Gerrish nut!)

Dale respects the Teddy!

Dale is a lurker no more.

Fear the Dale

Sean Weide said...

For those of you not familiar with Mr. Munson, you can see a picture of him here:

Matt_X said...

Welcome, the Dale. You will someday become beloved.

Hosh said...

Although Randby said blizzard in January, didn't Flowers say January would be dry and December and March would be snowy? Maybe Mr. Flowers got confused when looking at his six different radars. He can't look at one and get it right, how will he get it right using six?

DarthSchrader said...

Jim (Porn Name: "DICK") Flowers should bury himself in the dirt, and come out of his hole for the broadcast. If he sees his shadow, winter comes six weeks early.

bandit75 said...

The Old Farmers Almanac has always been more reliable than either of those "meteorologists" forecasts.

Lewis Black said it best, "What does meteorologist mean in English? It means liar!"

They both could have simplified things, covered their asses and said 'You know what? We live in the midwest, so expect some snow this winter. And it'll be cold, so be ready for that too. If you have lived here all your life and are still foggy on how winter could be weather-wise, raise your hand and I'll come around and hit you in the head with a hammer, because you're a retard. Be sure to send in your name, address, and phone number because we'll be drawing to give away ten new snowblowers!'

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