Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Get a Load of This!

KPTM is advertising for a reporter/anchor and a couple of other positions, as we reported earlier. It turns out, however that the new suckers employees will be slapping together a 10 p.m. newscast for KXVO/WB15.

The new program may not add much to the local broadcast scene, but think of the hundreds of dollars that these three new jobs will pump into the local economy each month.

We now invite you to contribute your own punchlines, via the "Comments" section.


Kids Playing TV Miserably said...

Amazing. Rather than spend the money upgrading or increasing the current staff, or even getting equipment that WORKS, they're going to double the the airtime of the lamest newsroom in town. Typical Pappas.

Kids Playing TV Miserably said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dannymccaslin said...

"KXVO...Our picture may be crappy but wait until you see our news team!"

DarthSchrader said...

I don't get it either. Instead of investing the extra $130.00 for a KXVO news team, why not try buying microphones that work for KPTM and use the taped news for KXVO?

Right now, KPTM sounds like they are off mic all the time, or one mic level is jacked, and the other is low.

Oh, yes...lest we forget...a make-up and hair person. That would be a good investment.

bandit75 said...

Reminds me of a poster I once saw:

"When You Earnestly Believe You Can Compensate For A Lack Of Skill By Doubling Your Efforts, There's No End To What You Can't Do."

That pretty much sums it up. Maybe they could get the cast of Dawson's Creek to do the news. Those kids haven't worked for a while and could probably use the bread.

TheJackal said...

Methinks that Katie Holmes would probably have to get permission from her fiance/scientology advisor before she could do that. Not a bad idea, though - they could even stay in character to get the kids involved in the news - "And now, we go to Pacey with the weather. Pacey?"

Tóózy said...

My top ten suggestions for news slogans

10 KXVO, Your Value Menu News.

9 KXVO Newsplex, ¡no habla Spanish or English!

8 KXVO Newsnight, Pappas got a brand new bag – of crap.

7 KXVO News, closed captioned to infuriate the hearing impaired also!

6 KXVO NewsNow, just one calorie!

5 KXVO Your News, cause we’re outta infomercials.

4 KXVO News Net, not as bad as a Cleveland Steamer!

3 KXVO NewsIntern 15, your home for the truth.

2 KXVO News at 10, we’re not Goth; it’s just freakin’ dark in here!

1 KXVO Newscenter 15, now KPTM has a bitch!

joeygrisgris said...

Idea....take all the people from the other stations that are either incomptent, annoying, or both and put them on as the newsteam for KXVO. Omarosa as the lead anchor, Sheila Bummer as co-anchor,Mumbles as the weather girl, Travesty Justice on Sports, and just for giggles we can send Jana Murrell out into the middle of Farnam to do traffic reports. They'd all still be working, but we wouldn't have to see them. It's a win win, I think.

the_s_man said...

geez teddy your such a great talented journalist..(cough, cough) you should be the lead anchor for its newscast, then i can have a blog and tell you how much you suck delivering the news

Cogitor said...

You know something s_man? I was plenty polite before, suggesting that even though I didn't understand your rather extreme level of sarcastic Ted-hate, you certainly had a right to your opinion. And I suggested that perhaps if reading material on this site bugged you so much, you could maybe...I don't know...NOT read it, or better yet, start your own site and post away. But that would be too much work for you, wouldn't it? You'd just rather cry about what's posted here. If you didn't visit this site, you wouldn't have anything to gripe about, and that wouldn't be good for you either, right?

Now, after seeing even more of your whiny posts, it's become apparent that you're just a tool -- with absolutely no sense of humor to boot. You don't get it when comments ARE tongue-in-cheek, and your level of sarcasm is just plain childish. This is a place where issues concerning broadcast news in Omaha are discussed. It also happens to be a place where people point out poor broadcasting or journalism when it occurs. Get over it.

bandit75 said...

Hey Cogitor, I think the_s_man is probably like Randy Quaids character in Major League II. He makes retarded comments directed at Ted and claims he hates him, but deep down knows he loves Ted and this blog.

Hey thejackal, minus ten points for knowing any of the people on Dawson's Creek.

I heard Thom Knight's name mentioned for the FroggyNews. Joy.

Matt_X said...

It wouldn't be surprising to see Calvert Collins move into that role. She's probably better suited to prompter reading than reporting.

theguesswho said...

Cogitor and Bandit 75. Im amused at your chastising of the s man. I mean if you don't like what he writes you don't have to read it (where have I read that before ?) Count me in as one who has no sense of humor either..if your definition of humor is nasty, personal trashing of newstypes and giving them nicknames I haven't heard since junior high.Oh..wait... you are just being sarcastic ? My mistake. Please spare me the drivel about this being a place where broadcast issues are discussed. Im still waiting for the that to happen

bandit75 said...

theguesswho said....

I mean if you don't like what he writes you don't have to read it (where have I read that before ?)

And yet you still come back.

Ok everyone, serious posting only, the blog monitor has spoken!

Cogitor said...

Guesswho, I hear you. I agonized a little over that myself - telling someone to go away if they don't like what they read. The difference is s_man only whines about Ted's criticisms. He never says anything when anyone shares a compliment.

Posters here point out when good things happen too, and before you say it, sure - it's not as often. But it's also human nature to talk about the bad. If you like the food and service you get at a restaurant, you MIGHT tell a few people. If you don't like it, you WILL tell 10 people.

Whether you like it or not, there has been discourse here that wasn't made up of criticism or personal attacks. I may have done it before, but I'm not usually one to join in on a personal level. I don't have any nicknames for anyone. I don't really care what the on-air talent looks like, as long as they appear to bathe daily and brush their teeth, but for God's sake, can't they do the job like it's not their first day? This isn't New York, but it's not Dogpatch either.

If you produce and deliver the news for a living:

1. You should be able to pronounce Indonesia.
2. You ought to know that it's "Summit of the Americas".
3. The technical staff should have a solid grasp of the equipment, or at least not make the same kinds of mistakes on an all-too-regular basis.
4. There is no reason on this earth to spend airtime reporting on the price of catsup/ketchup at Hy-Vee and the price of a 10-lb. bag of catfish nuggets at Chubb's Finer Foods.

Hosh said...

KPTM is tired of being the lowest rated station in town, so they put another news cast out. Brilliant!
You all crack me up. Some comments I find rediculous, but I always leave laughing!
Excellent Top 10 list, toozy. You should be head of their advertising.

Hosh said...

I don't know if anyone saw this last night (Sunday night), but KPTM did a story about someone in Columbus. But when they put the map of Nebraska on to show you where Columbus is, they had the little dot for the town and the word Columbus where Beatrice should be. Talk about earning your #4 ranking! And they are helping start a new newscast??

omatvwatcher said...

Just a prime example of how hiring people with no experience or qualifications to key roles over those more qualified will bite you in the ass. Don't expect it to get any better with the current setup.

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