Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Channel 6 Comes Charging Back in Battle for Stupid Sweeps Stories Crown

Today viewers are being hit with promos for Mike McKnight's "investigation" of police "stop sticks," in which we're told we'll get to see "actual video of a police chase!" Also, the station is hyping the snot out of Jim Flowers' "Precision Winter Forecast." We defy anyone to show us a more worthless weather "feature" than Jim wandering out to the weather porch to see whether his shadow appears.

8 comments:

Tóózy said...

I think Jim trying to predict high temperatures in different Omaha neighborhoods to be the most worthless item WOWT puts on the air. These predictions are never more than a degree or two different for various parts of town. I get that much variation in my own yard. I suppose that naming different subdivisions is 6's attempt to break out of their Dundee-centric view of the world. Now that brings up another feature sure to rank high on the who-gives-a-shit meter, the first snow of the year causing the hardware store in Dundee to sell out their stock of 6 or 8 snowblowers. I get a kick out of this unintentional comedy, cause while the sky is falling in mid-town, the big-box home improvement stores have enough equipment languishing on the shelves to dig Russia out of a blizzard.

tomfan said...

Jim Flowers can't forecast the weather for the weekend, but he wants us to really watch him Friday so he can tell us that it might snow this winter. Let's see did we all move here from Brazil?

DarthSchrader said...

I sincerely hope that Jim Flowers will have an elite group of viewers call in with their rain gauge amounts and the temperature in their neighborhood.

For example:

"Well, looking out across the metro, Dale Horfenburger says it's 56 around Crown Point, Ruth Penishaven records 57 in Regency. Turd Kjivenhymen is showing 55 in Ralston, while Gertrude Hysterectomus says it's 56 in Bellevue."

I hate that. These people are WEATHER WHORES. They probably call time and temperature to find out their results, then call the TV station to report their findings. They just want to see and hear their names on the air.

WHORES!

critical1 said...

Don't forget the latest feature from the Channel 6 weather department: Scott Akins' 'Partial Forecast'. He puts up the extended outlook that only goes out 3 days, teases you, then decides to show the other 4 days. Wow. What a feature. You can get a more reliable forecast from Ollie Williams on the 'Family Guy.'

Channel 5's "Black-U-Weather Forecast"? It's gonna RAIN!

http://www.planet-familyguy.com/pfg/characters.php?a=capsule&id=140

weatherwoman said...

Darth, do you have something against weather whores? Some of us are kinda nice to look at at least. Whatever dude - there are some weather geeks that like to give reports. Maybe they repeated failed Calc IV, and feel the need to do something weather related... I do agree it is silly more often than not, and therefore only report significant things, like the 3+" hail that fell at my house back in 2003. That was newsworthy. Better get back to my obs.

Matt_X said...

How about the idiotic piece on KETV Newswatch 7 (how many times can they drop THAT phrase in one newscast?), which pitted some goofball with a public access show about abortion against some guy who hated it. It was basically moron 1 vs moron 2, or you could call it guy with bad teeth takes on guy with wierd teeth.

gerrishnut said...

I have an advanced copy of Joker Jim's Winter forcast. Please don't tell anyone I told you...


From the Channel 6 weather center and Jim Flowers:

This winter it will snow on somedays and be cold on others.

Somedays it will be both and others it will be one or the other or none at all.

There could very well be a white Christmas, or for the racially senitive, a no-snow Christmas.

Somedays you may be able to go sledding by Bill and Julie's house near Memorial Park, and somedays you won't be able to.

Somedays the roads may need to be plowed. Somedays it may not.

My forcast in still incomplete. I am going back to the Ulta-Hyper-SuperDuper-Precisioncast 9000 to see if Shelia Brummer has a pulse.

pete said...

i always enjoyed watching Chicken Little's weather (that was my wife's & my name for the flowered one) because his forecast was always different for the 5, the 6 and then the 10 (it increased his chances of having Pat or John say: "You really predicted that forecast!")

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