Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Why Won't They Make Him Stop?

We've just voted Travis "The Tool" Justice's "For What It's Worth" commentary the worst concept in Omaha TV news since Channel 3 had radio disc jockey "Hot Scott" reviewing movies for them back in the '80s. It's worse, even, than that embarrassingly bad locally produced game show aired by WOWT on Saturday evenings somewhere during the 1987-89 timeframe.

It's more clear than ever that this guy has nothing to say. Evidence? Consider these highlights from Tuesday night's splattering of oral dirarrhea:

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I THINK YOU CAN LEARN A LOT BY JUST LISTENING.

I GOT AN EAR FULL THE OTHER NIGHT LISTENING TO MY WIFE AND A GROUP OF HER FRIENDS.

SINCE I THINK MOST GUYS ARE OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT GOES ON AROUND THE HOUSE, I THOUGHT I WOULD PAY CLOSE ATTENTION.

THIS GROUP OF WOMEN WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT FINDING GOOD HELP THESE DAYS.
THE FOCUS OF THE JOB WAS ON BABY SITTING. USUALLY I WOULD PUSH THE MUTE BUTTON IN MY HEAD, BUT THE MORE I LISTENED, THE MORE I REALIZED THIS COULD BE A PRETTY GOOD COMMENTARY.


Okay, right there you have enough reason to tell him to clean out his desk. "I think you can learn a lot just by listening"? WTF? He's getting paid for this? Why doesn't management just flush his salary down the toilet and spare us the trauma of looking at and listening to him?

And what does he mean when he says "The focus of the job was on baby sitting"? Is this guy mentally retarded? Doesn't anyone look at this crap before he goes on the air? (An even more disturbing prospect is that someone does and that this represents an improved version of his initial draft.)

The only part that we can even halfway appreciate is his reference to the mute button in his head. Is there any way that button can be wired to mute his Urkelesque voice?

Finally, realizing that something could be a good commentary doesn't mean that it will be. Lord knows he has several years of tape to prove it. But let's return to The Tool's Peabody-worthy script:

SO AFTER TAKING IN A BUNCH OF INFORMATION. I DECIDED TO GO INTO REPORTER MODE AND ASK SOME QUESTIONS.


"Reporter mode." Right. Good one.

THEY ALL AGREE BABY SITTING AND THE QUALITY OF IT ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE WHEN THEY WORKED FOR A BUCK AN HOUR. TODAY, KIDS GET PAID A LOT MORE AND DO A LOT LESS.


What is this? A knockoff of Dana Carvey's Grumpy Old Man character? ("We worked for a buck an hour...and WE LIKED IT!") Can you say "Tool Time"?

THERE'S A LOT MORE TO BABY SITTING THAN JUST WATCHING THE KIDS.


Hence our desire to rename this segment "Travis Justice States the Obvious."

IF A SITTER IS GOING TO PLAY GAMES WITH THE KIDS, THEY SHOULD BE EXPECTED TO PICK UP WHEN THE GAMES ARE OVER. NOT LEAVE THINGS ALL OVER THE HOUSE LIKE A TORNADO JUST HIT THE PLACE.

IF THEY ARE GOING TO FEED THE KIDS, BABY SITTERS SHOULD CLEAN UP, NOT LEAVE DIRTY DISHES ON THE TABLE OR PIZZA BOXES ON THE FLOOR.

BABY SITTING DOES NOT MEAN SITTING ON THE COUCH AND WATCHING TV WHILE YOU WAIT FOR A KID TO SCREAM TO SEE IF SOMETHING IS WRONG.
IT'S ABOUT BEING A ROLE MODEL, LEADING, TEACHING, PLAYING.


Babysitters are "role models," now? Give us a break.

NOW THESE WOMEN ARE NOT EXPECTING A MAID SERVICE WITH THEIR BABYSITTERS. THEY JUST WANT TO COME HOME TO A HOUSE THE WAY THEY LEFT IT, WORKING AN HOUR OR TWO TO CLEAN UP WHAT YOU JUST PAID SOMEBODY TO TAKE CARE OF IS JUST NOT WORTH IT.


What should be the final sentence—if Travis knew how to punctuate—could just as easily be applied to the half-assed job he does on this segment every night.

Someone needs to tell Trav that his "commentaries" are, to quote Rip Torn's Dodgeball character, "about as useless as a poopy-flavored lollipop."

10 comments:

Sidebar Sam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sidebar Sam said...

Ted: Let me be the very first to congratulate you on your astute observations regarding Old Snot Nose. I was thinking the exact same thing as he was reliving his diatribe this morning with Marijuana Todd and "Anti-Everything Nebraska" Tyler. The only reason they keep him around is that he makes them actually sound smarter.

His remarks remind me of .... Trav the Tool! Gets paid more at Channel 3rd for doing less. Perhaps it's guilt oozing into his commentary. By trashing others, he makes himself feel better about his own lack of repsonsibility and performance.

10/26/2005 4:47 PM

Ted Brockman said...

The comment deleted above claimed that as soon as Journal completes its purchase of Channel 3, "FWIW" will be axed and Travis will be returned to sports.

The problem with this scenario is that this guy has so overstayed his welcome by hammering us every night with his half-baked musings that we'll bet most people wouldn't listen to him or take him seriously no matter what assignment they give him now.

This d-bag is as overstuffed as the chair his fat ass occupies during his Sunday night casino-sponsored sports blabfest. He needs to be booted from the market, post haste.

BadGod said...

I forgot all about "Hot Scott". Thanks, Ted.

I am so glad I work nights and don't have to watch Travis.

MrT said...

Don't forget the amazing karaoke show he hosted on KM3. His jackassery was completely apparent on here. Just a total jerk to people who were up there, not to mention the worst judge of talent available. C'mon Trav... get up there and sing us a few. I don't know what you were listening to, but is sure as hell wasn't what I heard.

travia said...

This guy is like a cockroach, I'm afraid he is going to be around forever. A face for radio combined with a nasally voice that makes listeners long for fingernails across a chalkboard, add to that a rude, pompous, know-it-all attitude. Yet he get's his own show on both mediums. Let's face it he must be doing something right behind the scenes and he isn't going away anytime soon.

DarthSchrader said...

I'm glad that you copied his horse-shit that he slathers on the KM3 website.

A few years ago, this jackass had so many grammatical and spelling errors, I was convinced that he hired a pre-schooler to type his garbage.

For example, he spelled his own name wrong. It was spelled 'Travis Jusstice'. I actually got a hold of him on the phone around lunch time on the number he publicized for viewer comments. When he picked up, I informed him of the spelling and punctuational errors. He acted like a total ass. He actually told me that I was wrong. When he finally looked at the page, after I challenged him several times, this asshat told me this:

"I type this on Word, and then copy and paste it on the website. Sometimes things get messed up when you copy and paste them."

What the hell?

Be careful, folks. When you copy text and paste it elsewhere, words get spelled wrong, and punctuation is missing. It apparently also is converted to all caps as well.

A butthole, that Travis Justice is. I spit on thee, yet somehow I suspect that my spittle is too good for such butthooliganism.

DarthSchrader said...

Another gem in the crown of broadcasting excellence.


WHEN NEBRASKA HEAD COACH BILL CALLAHAN CALLED OKLAHOMA FANS HILLBILLIES LAST YEAR THE STATEMENT INJECTED SOME LIFE INTO THE NEBRASKA OKLAHOMA GAME.

When quoting someone, quotes should be used. Example: "HILLBILLIES".

There should be a comma between YEAR and THE.

NEBRASKA OKLAHOMA should be hyphenated.


BUT BECAUSE COACHES TODAY ARE TOO PC AND BACK AWAY FROM THEIR EMOTIONS THE ENERGY WAS SHORT LIVED.

Never start a sentence with a preposition (BUT). If you are inclined to do so, you should have a comma after BUT.

PC? Either spell it out, or use periods for abbreviation.

Comma after EMOTIONS.


FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, THE NEBRASKA OKLAHOMA GAME IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE. IT'S NO LONGER A RIVALRY.

Good usage of a comma.

NEBRASKA OKLAHOMA is still not hyphenated. For those named "Travis", hyphenated means that dash mark (-).


I BLAME THE BIG 12 CONFERENCE. TEN YEARS AGO IT PUT NEBRASKA IN THE NORTH DIVISION AND OKLAHOMA IN THE SOUTH. THIS MEANS THE HUSKERS AND SOONERS DON'T PLAY EVERY YEAR.
YOU CAN'T HAVE A RIVAL IF YOU DON'T PLAY ALL THE TIME. IT TAKES THE FUN OUT OF IT.

The Huskers and Sooners DO play every year, but they do not PLAY EACH OTHER every year.

Also, you CAN have a rival if you do not play every year.

Miriam-Webster defines "rival" as such:

Main Entry: 1ri·val
Pronunciation: 'rI-v&l
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin rivalis one using the same stream as another, rival in love, from rivalis of a stream, from rivus stream -- more at RUN

1 a : one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess b : one striving for competitive advantage
2 obsolete : COMPANION, ASSOCIATE
3 : one that equals another in desired qualities : PEER


THE GAME OF THE CENTURY ADDED FUEL TO THE FIRE. IT WAS A MOMENT AND TIME THAT STILL LIVES WITH HUSKER FANS. BUT LET'S BE HONEST, THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

What is with starting sentences with BUT?

THEN YOU HAD THE PERSONALITY BATTLE BETWEEN THE COACHES. BARRY SWITZER WAS OUTGOING. TOM OSBORNE WAS SOFT SPOKEN.
THEY COMPLIMENTED EACH OTHER VERY WELL AND THEY WERE BOTH GREAT COACHES. BUT THEY ARE BOTH GONE.

PREPOSITIONS AIGHHHHH!

Who wrote this clap-trap? This is written like the stories in the Weekly Reader I read in grade school.

Travis dislikes normal sentence lengths. HE. DOES NOT LIKE. MORE. THAN. FOUR WORDS. IN A SENTENCE.

Should be a comma between COACHES and BUT instead of a period.


THERE WAS A TIME WHEN THIS WAS THE GAME TO LOOK FORWARD TO, THE LAST GAME OF THE YEAR ON THANKSGIVING WEEKEND. THE HOLIDAY REVOLVED AROUND THE GAME.

TO, THE? There should be a period there instead of a comma. Why get daring with a longer sentence, Travis? Dance with what brought you.

Also, it was never the last game of the year. If memory serves me, I believe we went to some bowl games back then.

The holiday never revolved around the game. The opposite is true.


NOW IT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEASON. AND SINCE THE GAME STARTS AT 11, YOU HAVE THE REST OF THE DAY TO GET BACK TO WHAT EVER YOU HAVE TO DO.

Never start a sentence with AND.

No double spacing is required between 11, YOU.

WHAT EVER should be WHATEVER.


THEN YOU HAD A TIME WHEN OKLAHOMA WAS BAD AND NEBRASKA WAS REALLY GOOD. THEN YOU HAD A TIME WHEN NEBRASKA WAS BAD AND OKLAHOMA WAS REALLY GOOD.

Should have a comma after THEN in both sentences.

This whole paragraph is severely flawed. Sounds like a "What I Did On Summer Vacation" paper written in third grade composition class.


NOW BOTH TEAMS AREN'T EVEN RANKED. IT'S ALMOST LIKE PLAYING KANSAS OR BAYLOR. BIG DEAL.

There should be a comma between NOW and BOTH in the first sentence fragment.

IT'S OKLAHOMA WEEK. IT'S JUST LIKE ANY OTHER GAME, AND THAT TAKES THE FUN OUT OF IT.

First sentence is a fragment. Other than that, he ended the column with only one error.

This guy is not only a jackass, he is an illiterate jackass, which is very scary because he is employed by the media.

I think KM3 should have a literacy test for all on-air staff. That would be a great way to boot this idiot.

Hosh said...

I'm sure if Trav and Todd and Tyler were to actually come out and comment on all of your bashing, they would thank you for watching, listening, and giving them free pub.

DarthSchrader said...

Free pub for what? Trav's show has been shitcanned.

By the way, free publicity is not always good. Trav has been getting all the free pub he can handle on this board, and now he is gone.

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