Monday, October 17, 2005

Smollen Breaks Halloween Story

WOWT Flatliner/Reporter Gary Smollen landed the lead story on Friday's 10 p.m. newscast with the revelation that "Halloween is becoming popular," and that it's "costing more."

We couldn't make shit like this up. This is what he really said.

Yeah, Gary. We can remember back in the early '70's when hardly anyone had even heard of Halloween. Back then it ranked behind Arbor Day on the list of holidays when it came to popularity.

People forget that, in those days, it was much more popular to wear your Arbor Day "Leaf Bonnet" or "Foliage Toupée" than it was to go Trick-or-Treating. Kids got a real thrill out of sporting hats made of twigs and pine cones. We're SO amazed at how Halloween has taken off in the last year or two.

But seriously, folks: just when you think the gang at Channel 6 have hit bottom when it comes to stupid stories, they pull one like this out of the fire. And they give it to a stiff like Smollen.

Box that one up and send it to folks who give out the Edward R. Murrow Awards. It's gold, Gary...Gold!

3 comments:

Sidebar Sam said...

This just in .... It gets dark at night! Details at 10.

DarthSchrader said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DarthSchrader said...

Maybe kids could go as Jim Flowers; Male Prostitute.

You just need a fake mustache and a carnation. Probably a $3.99 investment.

Or the kids could go as Travis Justice. All they need is a sinus infection and lots of jibba-jabba that no one cares about.

Or maybe they could get a wig and a salad bowl to tuck under the shirt...voila! Julie Cornell.

Perhaps they could dress up like a bag lady and go as Deb Ward.

The possibilities are endless.

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