Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Oakey Spotted in New Circle of Hell

Question of the Day: What did John Oakey do to piss off KETV management to the point that they're hell-bent on ruining his morning show?

First, they made him morning anchor—a good move, especially following the disatrous tenure of Suzanne Deyo. But they paired him with meteorologist Andrea Bredow, who may be a lovely human being in person, but whose schedule will never be cluttered with meetings of the Mensa Society. [In other words, don't send us any more emails about how nice she is; we're concerned with how she comes across on-air, not whether she plays well with her neighbors.]

The Oakey and Bredow team was good; Oakey carried the load and Bredow didn't ordinarily ruin the program.

Then, last year, someone decided that what the show really needed was a female co-anchor. But instead of getting someone who might make people want to tune in, they hired the dreadful Elictia Hammond, whose appearance is rumored to have frightened several area children.

Now, Channel 7 has apparently chosen to conduct a little experiment to determine what happens when you put someone with no television training on television from 5 to 7 every morning and ask her to report repeatedly on, um, nothing.

Miss Nebraska Jenna Murrell is providing the answer every morning now, having started Monday as the station's in-studio traffic reporter.

Where do we start? It's hard to blame her too much for this, because, according to her bio, she majored in physical therapy in college. But watching as she stands in front of a green screen, reading from an index card gesturing awkwardly at nothing in partcular is truly something to behold.

Her delivery is sing-songy; she begins each report by purring, "Thaaank you, Johhhhn" (or Andrea or Omarosa Elictia). It's hard to convey how odd it sounds; if you've seen the Simpsons episode in which Apu says, "I learned to speak English from porn movies," you'll have a pretty good idea.

And about the only positive things we can say about her are that she looks nice and appears to smell good.

What they'll come up with next to torture Omaha's best morning anchor is anyone's guess. We hope he's getting combat pay for this.

27 comments:

journalism101 said...

The ratings just don't seem to go along with your overly repetitive rants. Why can't you dorks for once post something on how specific news and stories were covered by a news team rather than diss on the same people every day...over and over and over and over and over...believe it or not people you like have bad days and people you hate have good ones.
You always suck.

Ted Brockman said...

Place your bets now folks. Is Journalism101 Omarosa or Deyo?

the_s_man said...

uhhh teddy is there anything u like?? ohh wait..too bad tracy madden isnt at channel 7, so you can kiss the ground she walks on..like u do now

Ted Brockman said...

Uhhh, s-man, can you read any of the last several posts?

ChickMick said...

Place your bets now folks. Is Journalism101 Omarosa or Deyo?

I'm thinking it's the evil one - Travis Justice.

the_s_man said...

uhh teddy can you be more objective?????

joeygrisgris said...

Um, hate to tell you folks, but this is Teds blog. He has the right, just as the news folks do, to be as slanted or objective as he pleases. As for Journalism 101, I nominate Julie Cornell. So smarmy and plastic is she....I feel like I'm watching a female real life news equivalent of the Burger King.

Champ Kind said...

Bad days, good days, you're right. Unfortunately, 97 straight bad days probably says more than 1 good one. Of course, I think Travia may be on his 970th straight bad day. But we should give him the benefit of the doubt. He may actually string a cohesive segment together by spring of '07.

Ted Brockman said...

Okay everybody, contest's over. J-101 has to be Deyo. Why? Well, for starters, J-101 is reading this blog and expecting it to be objective. In other words, she can't tell the difference between a blog and the Times of London. Probably doesn't even know what a blog is. Probably puts it in quotes when she types the word. Yep. Definitely Deyo.

journalism101 said...

"Definitely Deyo" responds as such:

YOU want to know the difference between the living, breathing, journalists of this world and the type of hollow, sedated bloggers who ensure the perpetuation of omanews.blogspot.com's ongoing injustices? We talk about what we think, whereas they can only muster conversation about what they do (meaning that as long as “watching TV” remains a time consuming activity, there is no need to pause to consider the implications of oligarchical edicts issued from heavily fortified cubicals).

travia said...

Wow, I'll admit I had to look oligarchical up and I'm still not sure what it means. Oh well guess I'll just keep being entertained by Ted's easier to understand post's. What's even more entertaining is the reply's especially the angry ones and trying to figure out who they are. Mikel Severe(sorry I don't know where to place the apostrophe) made the mistake of talking about this site and then posting the exact same thing he said on Unsportmanlike Conduct.
Keep up the good work Ted and I'll go back to my cubicle now and work on gaining control of Omaha's airwaves.

Todd and Darrin said...

I moved from Omaha to Portland, Oregon 4 years ago. One of the reasons I decided to leave the Big "O" (laughing at that name) is because of stupid people like you. Why in the hell would you create a blog that bitches about the conservative journalism in Omaha, Nebraska? What gives? I know the Huskers have gone down hill, but certainly, there is something else going on in the state/city for you to do that’s constructive and meaningful. Get a life!

BadGod said...

What did Travis do to you, Ted?

He is not that bad, he must have done something to you outside of bloggerland.

Are you angry because you want to do what he does?

Are you mad because you tried and couldn't make it in the TV news world?

C'mon, Ted, tell us.

Ted Brockman said...

Respnse to todd and darin:
One of the reasons I decided to leave the Big "O" (laughing at that name) is because of stupid people like you.

Well, stupid people like me are still here. Why'd you come back?

Why in the hell would you create a blog that bitches about the conservative journalism in Omaha, Nebraska?

The more interesting question is, "Why are you reading it?"

Ted Brockman said...

Response to badgod:

What did Travis do to you, Ted?

Besides "For What It's Worth"? Nothing. But isn't that enough?

He is not that bad...

Compared to terminal illness, starvation, genital warts, and being engaged to Elictia Hammond, he isn't that bad. But compared to the other things that KM3 could be doing with the time currently wasted on FWIW, he's every bit as bad as we've suggested. Maybe worse.

...he must have done something to you outside of bloggerland.

Sorry, try again. I don't know the guy. Never met him, unless you count walking past him once while he was setting up for a remote or something at the Furniture Mart.

Are you angry because you want to do what he does? Are you mad because you tried and couldn't make it in the TV news world?

Yes. That's it. I'm angry because my secret desire is to make an ass of myself by delivering unsolicited and not particularly informed opinions to a television audience that, for the most part, doesn't give a shit what I think about things like whether Harriet Miers is qualified to be on the Supreme Court, how quickly the city should be filling potholes, and why SUVs are good. Most of all, I want to do it in a voice that sounds like it belongs to a dimwitted teenage bully with chronic nasal and sinus congestion.

There it is. Now it's out there. That, friends, is my dream and you have badgod to thank for finessing it out of me.

bandit75 said...

Hey Ted, I think badgod is the blogs new papiopete!

weatherwoman said...

Ted Brockman I love you and your blog...not that you give a rat's ass about what I think!

joeygrisgris said...

It was asked earlier in this post if Journalism 101 was Omarosa or Deyo....anyone consider the possibility that badgod is Justice?

the_s_man said...

sure it isnt tracy madden? that would just break teddy heart..that his precious tracy don't like him!

bandit75 said...

joeygrisgris, there is no way badgod is Travis. Check out his blog, way to funny to come from Minden, Iowa's own Travis Justice.

journalgasm101, hope Ted's nickname works out for you. Now, come down off the ledge and realize this is just a blog.

Ted Brockman said...

Juummmp! Jump!

BadGod said...

I am NOT Travis.

I was just curious if Ted knew him, that's all.

I am sorry, Ted.

DiggerDog said...

With a little help and few weeks of recovery, Deyo would be totally hot and a lot more womanly. She has a great face.

Sean Weide said...

Not that anyone's keeping track, but as far as I can tell, only two other verified people (besides me) have posted on this blog under their actual identities.

Both work for KMTV: Harry Flansburg and Michelle Bandur.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with anonymous posting. But there is some full disclosure now and then. Now, if we can only figure out the identity of "Ted Brockman."

theguesswho said...

Sean

You're right. No one is keeping track. Still, if Ted had the guts to reveal his identity I think you would find more of the posters would do the same. Why should someone working in the business open themselves up to Ted's subjective rantings any more than they have to ? As far as Harry and Michelle's postings, it is beyond me why they felt they needed to respond to Ted's criticism.

Ted Brockman said...

Perhaps they posted because they're proud of their work. Just a guess.

DarthSchrader said...

Travis Justice is a butthole.

That's right..a butthole.

I worked with him, and he is a self-absorbed, Todd and Tyler clinging, nasal-sounding, blowharding, no-talent pompous ass-clown.

There..I said it. Now let's move on.

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