Monday, September 26, 2005

Excuse Us, But We Had to Step Out for a Moment

• An unexpected trip to Chicago kept us away from local TV for a few days. The pinheads running Channel 6 should really get to a major market sometime and see how to do things right. For example, how is it that WLS, which has ruled Chicago for years, can put together newscasts that don't rely on repetitive gimmickry and meaningless, overhyped phrases? How is it that their morning show can get by without reading the same stories eight times an hour in the same mind-numbing format?

• Speaking of the Big Six, it occurred to us that it would be really cool to combine meteorolgist Jim Flowers' nearly orgasmic approach to any sort of weather "event" with Husker radio announcer Jim Rose's clearly orgasmic response to just about any on-the-field development. The result would be euphoric screaming to the point of incomprehensibility each time "Hybrid Jim" spotted a hook-echo on the radar screen.

• KETV anchor Rob McCartney was absent from Monday's 5 p.m. newscast. Who the hell thought that Tom Elser would be a suitable substitute? Or did Elser win a bet?

• Also on the Channel 7 front, who saw bumbling anchor Suzanne Deyo this weekend? Are we the only ones who think her helmet of hair makes her look like Fred Flintstone's semi-invisible friend, Gazoo?

• We've decided that Amanda Mueller must've lost a bet at some point. That's the only way we can imagine her ending up at KPTM. Fox42's fetching weekend anchor is far too talented and attractive to be working at that rattle-trap station. Look for her to be moving to another station or another market as soon as her contract is up.

• Our latest strategy for coping with the malodorous appearances of Travis Justice on KMTV newscasts is to hit the mute button and pretend that it's just a commercial, albeit a painfully long one. The problem is that when you take away the Milhous-grows-up voice and the idiotic musings, you're left with just a pudgy, ugly guy in a suit. Memo to Jim McKernan: SAVE YOUR STATION; FIRE THIS TOOL!

• Can WOWT's Gary Smollen sound any less enthused than he did on Monday's 5 p.m. newscast? Would somebody please hold a mirror up to his face and see if he's still breathing? Sweet Mother of Pearl! Listenig to this guy deliver a story is only slightly more exciting than listening to a middle school librarian's lecture on the virtues of the Dewey Decimal System.

• This post is starting to bear an eerie resemblance to the weekly column that Larry King formerly did for USA Today. So we'll stop for now.


DarthSchrader said...

Here's one you missed. Sunday night, KPTM news had a bloodfest. For four straight minutes they had murder stories.

The best part, however, was when a teen shot at police. They showed the cops carrying him by the arms back to the car. Then, they showed the child's "momma" cryin' and yellin' "why people gotz ta be shoot-en? I gotz ta know." Then you hear another neighbor in the background yell "this be pissin' me off, right here."

Great TV.

joeygrisgris said...

I agree that Amanda Mueller is attractive with potential. Just would be nice to see her in something other than "looking like a librarian" mode, and on another station. That is of course, unless you're into librarian fantasies.

TVSheila said...

I think Amanda Mueller does a great job. She comes across as friendly and seems very comfortable at the anchor desk. She's talks TO me not AT me-unlike
Tracy Jacim. Tracy's too 'in-my-face' to actually enjoy watching the news. Not to mention, Taylor Wilson just seems to get stepped on by her.
Yea, she's pretty, but-come on guys, a little technique wouldn't hurt...

Midtown said...

I can answer the question about how WLS can put on a morning newcast without having to repeat the same story 8 times... To start with like most medium to large market TV stations they have producers for each hour... I wouldn't be surpised if they don't have two producers each hour... one for each half an hour. Two: they have a chicago volume of news to fill a newscast. We have a good share of new content here but not even close to what they produce on a daily basis in Chi-Town. I have spent many years watching AM news and it has grown so much from the 15 minute cut-in inserted into GMA and the Today show. I watch many hours of similar markets size Morning shows and Omaha stacks up very well and in most cases is much better.
Just my opinion.

DarthSchrader said...

Check out

Funny Mel Mains parody piece, for those who are familiar with old school Lincoln anchors.

Bored said...

I think Tom does a great job as anchor... just thought I would put my two cents in.

DiggerDog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DiggerDog said...

I like Deyo. She needs to visit her "friendly neighborhhod plastic surgeon" in a BIG BIG way. But she's cute and does a decent job.

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