Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Channel 6 Useless Feature of the Week

Almost as revolting as its "Live at 4" rundown of grocery specials is WOWT's "Burglaries and Break-ins" segment on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. Reported by bulbous Brian Mastre, this little gem is no more than a sampling of places that have been hit by crime in the past week or so. Compounding the inanity this week was a tag by anchor Tracy Madden informing us that we can find a list of all the week's burglaries on the station's "Reminders Board."

What the hell is the point of this? Are there people sitting at home wondering where they might find crime info? Are these people saying "Thank God Channel 6 has aired this feature and posted it on the internet"? Not bloody likely. But, as they must say a lot in Channel 6 management, "What the hell...it'll kill two minutes."


Damon Scott Hynes said...

I can't stand that "In Case You Missed It" with the annoying 110 db ticking-clock sound. What is a ticking clock apropos of, anyhow?

Cogitor said...

"In case you missed it" simply means, "Despite the myriad stories out there, we don't want to do any more work this week, so we'll show this to you for a second or third time, then we'll show it again on the next day's morning show, then maybe again at 4:00, and perhaps yet again this weekend. That is, if we have time after the weekly grocery specials."

TV news in this town absolutely blows. Every two-hour morning show is about 4 minutes of content repeated ad nauseum, peppered with about an hour's worth of commercials. Chubb's Finer Foods may have catfish nuggets on sale, but the damn tartar sauce is only on sale at Hy-Vee. Why do we need to take air time for that kind of stuff? And then why do we need to see the same stories for two or three days, ESPECIALLY if they’re not stories with a wide-ranging impact?

Local TV news is becoming like a soap opera. You can almost skip it for a while, and when you come back you find you haven’t missed much. They’re all taking the easy road. There isn’t one station here putting out a good (emphasize good) product in any time slot. Passable is the best you’ll ever see, and that only occasionally. What monster mutant veggies will KM feature next? Will Andrea ever figure out how to pronounce "Indonesia"? Will the Newsplex undergo a much-needed name change? Will KETV rename their web site so that people know it’s actually their web site? Will Travis actually edit the teleprompter copy that gets posted to KM’s site? Will Phil’s Foodway ever put capers on sale? Do we really need to take up 1/4 of the screen warning us about a little rain...nine counties away? Sigh...

Now that football season is upon us, we'll see nothing but four month's worth of leads about the Huskers. The 1AA hype has started, in the event that they actually lose to Maine. After all, you’ve got to tell the people of Nebraska how good those programs are so they know how hard it will be for the Huskers to emerge victorious. By the way, the World-Herald is equally guilty of this. 1AA schools love to come here. They get a lot of money, they get the best press they’ll ever get, and they actually have a shot at winning the game. I'm glad Dave Webber's carotids are cleaned out, but now I'm worried he might die of suffocation -- having his air supply cut of by the collective sphincter of the NU athletic department -- since he'll no doubt be camped out in their ass for a while with Rossi and Mer. The other stations are just as bad.

Sorry for the vent, but they all just suck.

DarthSchrader said...

The best part of local TV news is that if you miss the news in the morning, then you can catch it at 5:00 p.m.

If you miss it at 5, then you can catch it at 6. And if you miss it at 6, you can catch it at 10.

And if you miss it at 10, you can see the same stuff the next morning again.

Ahhhhhhh....TV news.

Sidebar Sam said...

What happened to the real Ted? This blog has really bogged down since your return from vacation. With the garbage I see daily on the local news broadcasts, this is the best you can do?

weatherwoman said...

Unlike you guys, I find it very interesting and informative to know where the crime is. Then again I am a near-middle-aged mom. What I think is stupid is that you can only find this information on the reminders board. Duh - I'd have never found it were it not for you telling me where it was.

Off topic, I'm sure glad you guys are back. Sometimes a girl needs to hear some cattiness. I'm also glad not to be doing the weather here!

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