Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Back—and Bigger and Badder Than Ever

When we last posted here, we expected to take just a couple of weeks of vacation. But we were having so much fun that two weeks became three and three turned into four, and before we knew it, we'd spent four weeks out of town. You can't have too much vacation, can you?

While we were away, it appears that very little happened. WOWT, after playing Dave Webber's nearly two-month absence the way the Soviets used to handle the "colds" suffered by its leaders, finally came clean and let the world know that he'd suffered clogged arteries. Why it took the station six weeks to even acknowledge his absence remains unclear. Dorks.

Other than that, Andrea McMaster still comes across as a moron who can't regulate the volume of her voice, Elictia Hammond still radiates a witch-like aura, John Knicely seems as clueless as ever, and Travis Effing Justice remains employed, defying all attempts to explain that sad fact.

Other odds and ends we've noticed since we got back:

• There has been something about Devon Patton that creeped us out, but we couldn't quite put our finger on it until the other day when it finally hit us: the guy barely moves his lips and always seems to be talking with his teeth clenched. Give him a dummy (or have Travis sit on his knee) and it would appear to be a cut-rate version of Willy Tyler and Lester.

Sheila Brummer, we feel safe in saying, was a bad hire for Channel 6. A friend showed us a tape of her appearance on one of Greg Wagner's outdoor reports (she was shown kneeling next to Wagner's chair, near or under the desk). Does she think this will enhance her credibility? Or that it'll make viewers like her more? It's hard to believe that the Big Six allowed it, but given that no one seems to be minding the store, it's not a total surprise. We're pretty sure the segment would make several people at Brummer's old station in Des Moines snicker, at the very least.

• Brummer does fill one hole left by the May departure of Pat Persaud; she is the only female at WOWT who makes us turn the channel to watch anything else that's on...even if it means missing this week's specials at Chubbs.

• Hasn't Gary Smollen been declared legally dead, yet? Listening to his snivelling reports, we can't help but think of Milton from "Office Space."

• More than a few readers have sent emails commenting on KETV reporter Todd Andrews' stint filling in for anchor Rob McCartney last week. The most frequent item mentioned was his hair, parted in the middle and looking disturbingly wet. Having seen a tape of it, we see what you mean. While Andrews sounds great, he does appear to be sartorially challenged. Yikes.


peterjenningsghost said...

what tha dilly yo? TA clothes is phat and da bitch got some purty ass hair belee it or not.

gerrishnut said...

I saw Andrews at Pauli's during the CWS. The guy and his hair was out searching for poon. He's a tool.

DarthSchrader said...

At least Dave Webber has Physician's Mutual covering him. Oops...sorry. He's a PAID ENDORSER. Hopefully the combo of Channel 6's health plan, and his six-figure bump for insurance ads help speed up his recovery.

Seriously, Dave is a class act, and I wish him well. Travis Justice, however....well....best left unsaid.

Andrews is creepy in a Van Halen "Waldo" sort of way, but not as creepy as McCartney when he was on 10/11 in Lincoln.

I remember seeing Rob during July Jamm one year wearing a Western shirt, wicker cowboy hat with pink clip-on feathers (remember those ones that were attached by an alligator clip, and leather strap) and he had a rat-tail. Yes....a rat-tail.

The man looked like a special-needs worker dressed him. I'm very pleased to see that he is dressing better while out on the town.

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