Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Deb Ward Hops on the Excrement Express

It just wouldn't be summer in Omaha without someone in local news mentioning the term e coli.

Last Thursday, it was Deb Ward's turn as she delved into the seedy world of free makeup-counter samples.

Just for fun, it seems, Ward dropped in at a few retailers around town and got them to submit some of their "free sample" applicators for lab testing. As it turns out, in addition to free makeup, customers get all sorts of little prizes, including some e coli bacteria, which, Ward was quick to point out, comes from "fecal material."

For those of you not up on your scientific terminology, "fecal material" is a nice way of saying "shit."

Perhaps the best part of the story was customer reaction, which ranged from an uptight looking older woman saying "Oh my," to a younger interviewee who squealed, "Feces?!"

(Call us old-fashioned, but we can remember a time when you had to eat a hamburger if you wanted to pick up e coli. Nowadays, these kids have it too easy—they can just mosey up to a makeup counter and smear it on their faces for free. No wonder they ain't got no gumption!)

The moral of the story, it seems, is that there ain't no free, ahem, lunch...or makeup, or whatever.

By the way, Channel 3 should be commended for running the story at 10 p.m. rather than at 5, when some viewers might've been eating. We've seen (and probably griped about) cases of other outlets running stomach-turning stories like this at mealtime.


bandit75 said...

Since nobody is going to say it, I will. What a crappy story.

A better story idea for Deb would be "What has made my hair stand up like this for the last decade? Find out tonight at 10:00."

weatherwoman said...

Yeah, females find this very interesting. I hear you with the hair standing up...I've seen her in person around town and it is poofy then too!

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