Wednesday, April 13, 2005

If She Keeps Up This Pace, "Retirement" Is Going to Feel Extra Sweet

For the first time in nearly a month, WOWT anchor Pat Persaud has shown up at the anchor desk for a third consecutive day. If our earlier speculation is correct, it has now been 72 hours that the 6News team has been locked in the studio, part of an effort by management to get PP on the air more. As we understand (or imagine) it, John Knicely and fill-in sports anchor Merlyn Klaus hold Pat down while food and clothing are slipped through a crack in the studio door.

Knicely and Klaus are said to be holding up well, but apparently meteorologist Jeff Jensen is starting to whine quite a bit about not having adequate access to his hair care products. During a Wednesday food/clothing drop, Jensen apparently made a break for it, only to be pulled back by Klaus. According to witnesses, Jensen was clawing at the door and crying uncontrollably about missing the weather porch.

Persaud is being pacified, at least for the time being, by generous supplies of "Family Health" scripts, which she is robotically voicing over between newscasts, when Jensen isn't throwing a tantrum, that is. Our source says that Pat is strangely comforted by the opening lines of these stories: "Shoe salesman Joe Ryan has an itchy scrotum," they begin. "He's one of ten million American men who suffer from 'jock itch.' Now an experimental device is offering hope."

Most disturbing of all are reports that Ross Jernstrom has been pitching a similar fit outside the studio, upset that he's not included in what he keeps calling "the slumber party."

UPDATE: We're told that Jensen's condition was exacerbated at least somewhat by having to spend three solid hours on the phone Tuesday with a sobbing Jim Flowers, who was distraught over being on vacation during Monday's severe weather outbreak.

8 comments:

bandit75 said...

I once heard JJ refer to the channel 6 observation deck as "my observation deck". Didn't have to wait long for the Brian Mastre "zing of the day" either. What a goon.

janetdoe said...

Along the same lines of saying something stupid, did anyone else catch the channel 6 morning show thursdy am when the girl anchor was asked if she were going to be travelling anytime soon and she said something like "No, unfortunately." It sounded like she'd rather be anywhere bu t in Omaha. Then the guy next to her jumps in and says "Well i LIKE it here!" Atleast one of them is smart enough not to make it clear they are just working here temporarily until a bigger job comes along in some other city.

bandit75 said...

Hey, Mallory gets a free pass to whatever she wants.....based solely on her looks. She and Trey are the best team 6 has right now and probably for the near future.

Will said...

Fascinating Freudian Slip by Miss Maddox.

I think she's got what it takes, and I'll wager she knows that too, so I expect her to be a short timer.

RogerJohnson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
gerrishnut said...

Maddox can't get past taking to the hair.

omatvwatcher said...

Well Jane Doe, some people actually look forward to travelling. And just because you look forward to travelling somewhere doesn't mean you hate where you are. It's a shame that everyone has to watch what they say these days, because people like you put certain comments under a microscope.

janetdoe said...

i have touched a nerve with omatvwatcher. so, we should never look more deeply into ANYTHING that ANYONE says. That's perfect, because most of what the TV people in Omaha say on air makes no sense at all.

"It's a shame"? Picking apart what one says might be a little over the top if you are talking about civilians in everyday conversation, but tv anchors ABSOLUTELY have to watch what they say, and with good reason. When the world (ok, maybe not the world) is watching, and the microphone is on, an anchor can't just say the first thing that comes to their minds, without accepting the consequences. But like someone else said here, people like Mallory can apparently just babble about NOTHING at every opportunity and NEVER say anything that's worth listeneing to, and the men of this world will let it pass because she happens to be attractive.

Drop a pebble in that pool(Maddoxx) and it does not have far to go to reach the bottom.

On the other hand, intelligent women who aren't as pretty get ignored even if their work is superior.

Watch some of her stories as a reporter, and they are passable, since she has the luxury of time and forethought, but in a live, unscripted situation,... you've seen what happens. Sarah Simmons has her beat hands down. You go, girl!

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