Wednesday, March 23, 2005

WeatherHype

lather over the possibilities that lurk just beyond the horizon. Off all last week, Flowers burst back onto our screens this week looking giddy about each forecast and doing some serious jonesin' for his new graphicsSpring is here and with it comes the annual ritual of watching WOWT Chief Meteorologist work himself into a package.

Nearly every weather segment now features the excitable Mr. F. bleating "Let's go topside!" (which, we're guessing Mrs. Flowers has heard more than a couple of times) and demonstrating his prowess with his new friends on the green screen. Viewers of yesterday's Live at Five were treated to the sight of Jimmy massaging an enormous blue button that was supposed to represent and transform itself magically into Regency. But no matter how much Jimmy fiddled with it, it just wouldn't cooperate. (He'd let us see that on a later newscast, he assured us, as if we were all crestfallen at miscue.)

Combined with an ever-growing list of confusing names for various features (we now have a "SkyVision" forecast, to go along with SkyTrackers, WeatherTrackers, Precision Outlooks, Upfront Forecasts, the Weather Where You Live, and Precision Doppler 6000), Flowers' endless babbling and an assortment of irrelevant maps make the Channel 6 weather both over-long and tedious to watch. Seriously, does it really matter that it's 34 in Beatrice and only 32 in Norfolk? Is anyone in Florence thinking about moving because it's 53 there, but 55 in Papillion?

Just give us the damned forecast and cut the crap.

2 comments:

Luke said...

Not even "the possibility of severe weather [barely concealed giggle]" exclamations which come with Spring and Summer in the Heartland can kill off the memory remnants of F's nearly orgasmic "Polaris Plunge" line he used a couple of years ago.

For three days, "P.P." was used in every forecast a minimum of 12 times and each time uttered with the ferocious glee that only comes with someone who finds himself rather witty.

Has anyone ever told Jimbo that Hercule Poirot wants his mustache back?

Corby said...

Thank god for you people. It's nice to have someone blogging in Omaha that is a voice for the "every man/woman". Flowers is as tired as can be and honestly, if every friggin local station imploded, we'd be a much better community....

The shit these local stations spew is worthless and unnecessary. With the Internet, a plethora of cable TV options, and availability to an infinite world of newspapers via the web, do I really need to see Jim Flowers' mug on the screen? The answer, my friends, is "never again". And thanks to Tivo, there's always something else on at 12, 4:30, 5:00, 6:00, 9:00, and 10:00....

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