Monday, February 07, 2005

The News Starts NOW: Sweeps Edition

When we wade into what passes for TV "news" this month, we're always excited by the hype that accompanies a sweeps period. Tune in on virtually any night of the week and you'll see people who make slick streets sound like the crash of the Hindenburg take their schtick to the next level. Our two favorites at the moment: Sporting his trusty radar gun, Doug Walker proves that speeders are poised to kill any child who walks near a school (Tuesday, WOWT), and the intrepid Carol Kloss serves up a plate of Restaurant Inspections! (Wednesday, KETV). We think it would be much catchier to call this segment, "Is there poop in your lunch?"

If that's not enough, there's always Pat Persaud's hard-hitting "What's Going Around" at 5 p.m. on Channel 6. We've always thought that, just for sweeps periods, instead of checking pediatricians' offices, Pat should go out and see what's being passed around at homeless shelters, bus stations, and methadone clinics. Or, for counterprogramming, Channel 7 could send the leather-jacketed Kloss to run a few tests on the bacteria in gas station restrooms. Shots of Pat actually touching a homeless person or brushing her teeth in the sink at the Kum 'n' Go? Now that's infotainment!

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