Monday, February 21, 2005

The News Starts NOW: Sweeps Edition, Week 3

Let's admit it: there aren't that many things we'd rather see on TV than John Kniceley getting tasered. And, God love 'em, the kids at the Big Six are promising us just that on Tuesday night's 10 o'clock cast. But think how much better it could be if they'd only take the idea a step or two further. What if, for instance, they allowed viewers to choose which reporter, anchor, or weatherdude got jolted? It'd be gold, Jerry--Gold!

Can't you just see it? Pat Persaud saying, "Who'll get zapped tonight? Log on to our Reminders Board now to cast your vote. We've built a link...blah...blah...blah." And so you'd get on, choose from a list of those appearing on that night's program, and then tune in to see if they throw a few volts at Rebecca Kleeman or Ross Jernstrom. Imagine the audience they'd have! KETV and that other station would be lucky to have three dozen people watching between them.

And the possibilities for counter-programming are even more tantalizing. Instead of subjecting us to more "For What It's Worth" commentaries, Channel 3 could hold a drawing each evening during Entertainment Tonight to determine which lucky viewer gets to hit Travis Justice in the junk with a fastball. Or Channel 7 might allow a deserving audience member to douse Julie Cornell with a bucket of ice-cold breast milk if she so much as looks like she's going to read from that f-ing diary of hers.

If this isn't a recipe for really reinvigorating local news, we don't know what is.

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