Thursday, June 30, 2011

Shock

SuxNews has found someone to sit next to loud lithper Jimmy Siedlecki.

The amazing thing is that she appears to be neither the cloying cheerleader/spokesmodel that her predecessor, Malorie "Maltard" Maddox, was/is, nor the limp dishrag that Ann McIntire and her lifeless clones (e.g., LeAnne Mormann and Brianna Long, and Chase Moffitt) have proven to be. 

As long as she's okay with Jimmy stepping all over her lines and weighing in with his fatuous observations every 37 seconds, she'll be perfectly happy in her new gig. If SuxNews has shown us anything, it's that talent can be stifled if surrounded by enough pathetic hacks.

Check out the story (from the Lincoln Journal-Star) here.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Stormy

• Would someone please tell KETV's chief weatherguesser, Bill Randby, that "gustnado" is not a word and that even if it were a word, it would not be appropriate to say 36 times is a two-minute span?

• Rather than burden its reporters by making them go out and collect footage of Monday evening's storm, WOWT filled its 10 p.m. broadcast with a bungled live remote from the CWS (people ran to the Qwest Center!) and pictures from viewers—many of which, anchor John J-Pa Knicely noted, were described as "scary." Say what you will about him, the man is an artist with words.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Final?

Will Thursday evening's broadcasts be Tracy Madden's last on SuxNews?

When news of her departure seeped out last month, her final day on-air was said to be June 3rd. But since the station's main anchors no longer appear on Fridays, it seems that Thursday could mark her final newscast.

Whether it's Thursday or Friday, Madden's departure hasn't drawn anything close to the hyper-hyped orgy of schmaltz that accompanied the "retirement" of her predecessor, Pat Persaud, in 2005.

Even the morning show departure of Madden's successor, Maltard Maddox, has been relatively subdued, at least by SuxNews standards.

Co-anchor Jimmy Siedlecki presented the giggly blond (who's been sporting a new helmet-y looking 'do, apparently in anticipation of her ascent) with a cake featuring a giant Channel Sux logo, while meteorologist Rusty Lord handed her a couple of small energy drink bottles that looked like he'd grabbed them at a convenience store on the way to work this morning.

It was as touching a moment as could be expected between two shallow co-anchors who haven't once in five-plus years on the program displayed a single genuine emotion about anything, unless you count self-satisfaction as a genuine emotion.

Given Maddox's tendency to look like a love-struck cheerleader trying to impress the quarterback while working with Siedlecki, we shudder to imagine how sickening her performance will be when she's next to the even-more-clueless John Knicely, who has made a career of merely resembling an anchor.

Meanwhile, looking more and more like a combatant poised to stomp on the throat of a weakened opponent, KETV isn't wasting any time in trying to capitalize on the fact that Madden's departure leaves SuxNews bankrupt when it comes to news talent.

Exhibit A: Channel 7 is promoting a new anchor lineup for its weeknight newscasts, with Melissa Fry and Adrian Whitsett assuming duties at 5 p.m., while Rob McCartney and Brandi Petersen retain their slots at 6 and 10 p.m. The promo we've seen stresses the local roots of the four anchors, underscoring the shocking inability of its rivals to cultivate a similarly strong stable of personalities from within the market.

Thank god at least one local station has an owner willing to invest in at least appearing to develop a competent, credible news organization. We can only hope that other stations eventually fall into such hands.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Explosion

For a station that can't seem to stop talking about its social networking prowess, SuxNews has brought an avalanche of Facebook hate-posts upon itself by canceling its "Fairytale Wedding" contest, just minutes before it was due to announce the results.

An alert reader reports:
So they cancelled the Fairytale wedding contest! Thanks to those who voted for my friends in the Omaha, Neb, fairytale wedding contest. They were legitimately winning, and with about 30 minutes remaining, the news director of the Faiytale wedding contest pulled the plug and posted this: WOWT noticed what appear to be patterns that are inconsistent with a normal vote in the Fairytale Wedding contest. We called in our IT professionals who confirmed our suspicions. We tried to solve the problem by using a third party app, but found concerns with that as well. Understandably, many of our loyal WOWT fans have expressed concerns about the integrity of the contest. We understand their frustration and have decided to pull the contest completely. We feel that at this point, there is no way to award the prize fairly. We want to thank everyone who participated and feel terrible that what was meant to be a fun contest has ended this way. We would like to do this contest again and are looking into other programs that offer a more restricted access. We will not run any future contests using the “like” button on the WOWT Facebook page. - Amy Adams, WOWT News Director What a scam!! There was cheating going on, but I don't agree with how it was handled. Outright cancelling the contest is not a solution. Their facebook page is exploding with hatemail right about now... I'm so disappointed for my friends who were winning down to the wire and would have had $14k in wedding services donated for the big day. WOWT Fail. http://www.facebook.com/wowt6
Classic work from a station that just can't seem to get anything right. It'll be interesting to see if they keep running promos exhorting viewers to visit their Facebook page (or "Face-bick," if you're Maltard Maddox).

It adds even more irony than usual to the phrase "The News You Trust," doesn't it?

Friday, May 27, 2011

Bland

A key cog in Channel Sux's collection of charisma-challenged reporters and anchors, weekend newsreader Ann McIntire appears to be vying to replace Maltard Maddox on the station's "Daybreak" program when the latter succeeds Tracy Madden as lead female anchor on June 6th.

Anchoring Friday's 5 p.m. blabbercast, McIntire informed viewers that, due to flooding along the Missouri River,
"additional [city] parks may need to be closed, if necessary."

Being able to deliver that kind of line would seem to give the mousy McIntire a decided edge as the station looks for someone to giggle and toss out trite remarks in response to co-anchor Jimmy Thiedlecki's desperate (and loud and just plain sad) attempts to prove how smart he is.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Compass?

Leave it to Maltard. This morning, she warned viewers about a traffic accident in "North O."

The location? 48th and Giles. (See "A" on map below.)

Just one more example of the two dimwits anchoring that "show" (as they call it) simultaneously pretending to know it all and showcasing their profound ignorance.

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Jumping

An alert reader offers an uncorroborated report that Tracy Madden is leaving SuxNews, with her last broadcast scheduled for June 2nd.

According to this tip, weatherguesser/self-appointed lifestyle advisor Andrea Rich and an unidentified photojournalist are packing their bags, as well.

The cause in these and other recent cases is said to be extreme disdain for management, particularly news director Amy Adams

This will almost certainly mean a promotion to main anchor for congenitally vacuuous morning anchorette Maltard Maddox, who displays all the knowledge and gravitas of a second-string high school cheerleader. Jimmy Siedlecki must be jealous, knowing that he's stuck on the morning show and barking his "Burglaries and Break-ins" schtick at viewers.

Maddox seems likely to cling to that gig until her features start to sag in a decade or so and her weight inches upward at which time she'll be given the boot for whatever giggling dimwit they have waiting in the wings.

Meanwhile, J-Pa Knicely remains at the desk, apparently blissfully unaffected by the place collapsing around him.
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